Tuesday, March 5, 2013

10 Questions for my Preschooler

I love my sweet little 4 year old Mini more than boxed wine and Downton Abbey combined, but I need to be straight with you. The child is a handful. I will never understand the things she does. I can only hope to stop her before she causes permanent damage. Then again, we all know she's a precious little cupcake baked by the devil, so what did I expect?

I started rattling off a list of questions I wanted to ask her last night, and my husband Cap'n Coupon reminded me that I was a moron and that all our kids had done this same stuff as preschoolers. It was kind of a relief. So I thought I'd share this stuff with you guys and see if it's happening at your house, too.

Here are ten questions for my preschooler, in a handy dandy list format.

(If it's hard to read, just click on the image to enlarge.)

(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013


  1. 1. Because at school cleaning is fun and at home it is not.
    2. Home dangers are KNOWN dangers...anything could happen at such exotic lands as a playground.
    3. Obviously we have some disagreements regarding what is fun to cut and what is too important to be cut.
    4. About time those things got some air >.>
    5. That was where I decided I wanted to be shoeless O:)
    6. To see what's in it.
    7. Because Christmas and pumpkin shirts are tacky but a summer dress is always stylin'.
    8. I will always hold out hope that you will forget to check ;)
    9. To see what all my options are.
    10. Because they are magic secrets that grown ups keep and have unlimited possibilities if only I could just find them all...

    Lol - A.A. Gibson

  2. wait - is she a clone of my daughter?

  3. In my house I would have to amend # 5 to "just one shoe." At any given time I could look down and see my little precious with one shoe on, perfectly tied, and one bare foot. Some shoes never did get reunited with their pairs.

    1. Yes! One shoe out of every pair seems to be missing, often including mine

    2. I have the same problem one shoe and sock off somewhere else in the house (and they are not together) and other shoe and sock either on or in some weird place, like brother's room, basement, or even under My bed. I cannot tell you how many single socks I have after doing the laundry. My Little Miss Adventure has more single socks than she does pairs. I try to stock up at consignment sales but the pairs never last long in this house.

  4. These things do not go away! My kids still do most of them...and I have five teenagers! I wish I could tell you something better, but for the most part, we picked this job (what WERE we thinking..lol)

  5. I ask myself these questions every day.....EVERY. DAY.

  6. Haha! So it's not just here, huh? At least we're in good company!

  7. I shit you not, my daughter wore the 4th of July dress I bought her second hand last week on our WALK to school today, in New England, over ice and snow. (Uphill both ways, etc etc).

  8. why do these things still happen at the "wise" old ages of 12 and 8????

  9. About the bathing suits....why is it the day before you leave on vacation to someplace warm, they grow out of every bathing suit they own?? I am sure they do this on purpose.

  10. Ugh! #3!!!! Her hair, barbies hair, receipts that I need, random straps of fabric, paper. I've tried hiding the scissors, but, THEY ALWAYS FIND THEM!!! Lol!
    -Heidi D

  11. #1, #5, #6, #8, and #9 still occur with my 18yo daughter! I demand an explanation!!!!! When will this end?!

    1. Looks like my initial reply did not get posted; the addition did, so here goes. The answer to your questions is NEVER!!! I raised three sons to adulthood, marriage and fatherhood. They eventually lost their 'bad' habits but along come the grandchildren. Same scene, different children, no change in actions/habits/attitudes. The only major difference is I did not have to put up with all the electronics that are available today. Oh well, life goes on and nothing truly changes. We love them anyway, even while we're tearing our hair out, after it has turned gray. There is one thing I did learn early on--unless absolutely and unavoidably necessary--do not use the word NO. It loses its forcefulness if used too frequently. I found that using a phrase such as "you may not do that", "you may not touch that", "that is a dangerous thing to do", "be careful, you could hurt yourself", "Robert!! Stop!", etc. When I did use the word "NO", there was almost an instantaneous reaction; they stopped moving. I think they were stunned at both the word and the tone in my voice. That advice was given to me by a mother of five; I am forever grateful for her words of encouragement in the child-rearing arena Hope some of this helps other mothers..

  12. Do you have a hidden camera at my house because this is exactly what happens with my three year old.

  13. Omg. Has my daughter been living a double life in your home? EVERY single thing you wrote is EXACTLY what my daughter does... Could I please add?? How about this question: "Greta, why do you continue to draw happy faces, x marks, check marks and your name all over the walls, doors, couches, and underneath your desk---?(her newest spot since I told her if she drew on the walls again I'd cut all her hair off and throw away her dresses) or how about this one--"why when I bought you 10 winter sleepers do you choose a sleelevess gown every single night to sleep in when it's 65 degrees in the house? "(trying to save money somewhere...) I'm talking FREEZING COLD HANDS & FEET.
    Glad I'm not alone:-)

  14. Looks like my 2 year old will turn into your 4 year old. My daughter and I recently went to an indoor playground. Other mom's were shocked at how my daughter threw herself down a climbing apparatus and the biggest slides. I pulled my groin just trying to keep up with her. She's just not your dainty/graceful girl, she's my animal. So, you're not alone, and now I know I'm not either. :)

  15. If I've said, "Don't chase the cats!" every day for FIVE YEARS, why haven't you learned that yet? You are 8 and 9 years old!!!

  16. My 5yr old and 3yr old boy questions:
    Why is making me smell an especially raunchy fart so funny to you?
    Why can't you ever accept "unplugged" time and stop begging for the wii, ds & Netflix?
    Why is your stomach never full unless it's dinner time, then it can't possibly eat the food I cooked?
    Why do you always scream at each other and tease each other, but if I separate you you beg for each other?
    Why do you smell so bad? You didn't even leave the house today!

  17. My daughter is 14 and the list hasn't changed much!
    #1 her locker is neat but you can't walk through her room and if you ask her to empty the dish washer she approaches it like a death march!
    #4 Everything that might have been considered to be worn and then her mind changed is in the laundry.
    #5 YES!
    #6 She dumps her school bag all over the car in the 10 minute ride home from school, why?
    #7 Her and her friends will wear a talk top in February and jeans and uggs in July?
    #8 Yes, but please add $5500 worth of braces on those precious stinky teeth.
    #9 Yes and then into the hamper see question #4
    #10 and cotton balls

  18. OMG...this is my daughter. Especially the scissors and shoes. Two days ago she cut her hair (she had beautiful, long, curly hair) from both sides of her head up to her ears. :( Then she hid the hair behind her dresser so I wouldn't find out... Ummm...

    1. My daughter did that (one side only), but just left the hair in a pile on the floor. Did. not. care. if I found it.

  19. I often find myself about to say, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU [fill in the blank]" to my almost 3yo. When those words come out of my mouth is when I realize that TELLING her is obviously not the answer. Prohibiting her access to the crayons/scissors/iPad/whatever IS.

  20. If I may add somethings....
    #7 And why do you always insist on wearing your gymnastics leotard or ballet leotard over your day clothes?
    #8 Also applies to hand washing.

  21. i ask the same questions, and: where is your volume control button??? when teacher says, "inside voices" you whisper like a princess. when mommy says it you scream, "WHAT???"

  22. how about:
    11- why is it that at school you can speak in perfectly intelligible multi-word sentences, but at home you pick one word and repeat it over and over and over again until my eyes bleed? ( today; rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit)
    12-why does your preschool teacher tell me that you love to help the "little" kids tie their shoes but at home you'd sooner strangle yourself with the laces than TIE. YOUR. OWN.SHOES.
    13-why do you, when busted with a finger up your nose, proceed to wipe said finger on the couch, WHILE I AM STARING RIGHT AT YOU? And then why do you later yell, "gross! booger!" when your brother does the same thing?

    The preschooler, their ways are mysterious....

  23. Google "46 reasons why my 3 year old is freaking out" - it was a blog post that went viral a few weeks agao and I bust a gut laughing as I read it. In some ways I think it brillantly gets into the mind of a three year old... however, it is still a deep and dark and mysterious (although also very joyful) place and I'm sure we were ever meant to understand it or have any of our questions answered!
    And by the way... you have only TEN questions - Gawd - you must be the "pre-schooler whisperer" or something fancy like that :)

  24. Yep. That sounds about right.

  25. Isn't it amazing how universal all this stuff is?

  26. With the exception of 3, 7, and 8, ALL of these apply to my daughter. Who is 1 1/2. Based on this list, I dread what she'll be like at 4.
    Additional questions I have for my daughter:
    1) Where did you get the idea that in addition to telling me "All Done" at the end of each meal, it was also necessary to turn your plate upside-down to indicate that you are, in fact, finished?

  27. OMG that is how to describe my Baby Girl , Cupcake baked by the devil !!!!
    And # 2, 5 and 9 descibe my daily life oh and #11 Where did u put your Juice Cup , Shoes , Mommy's Purse ? It was right here a second ago , I just turned around and it's gone !

  28. Hey, my kids throw away MY stuff and hoard things that are *actual garbage*...ie: $350 glasses that I need to SEE with, long gone, 3 years of elementary school 'coloring book stories', stuffed in the box spring.

  29. I am ashamed to say that I JUST found this sanity-saving Blog... but THANK YOU! THANK YOU! A MILLION times THANK YOU!

    *sob sob sob...sniffle* I love you, man!

    ps... "Precious cupcake baked by the devil" is pure literary genius! (I have one of these cupcakes too.)

  30. Sorry, I hit the 'enter' button before I finished. The clothes--sometimes just put on top of a piece of furniture in their rooms, unless specifically told to 'put them away where they belong'. A grandmother's admonition. Socks--taken off, left at that spot, unless 'ordered' to put them where they belong (I don't want to go upstairs now; I'll take them up later.--ha, ha). However, as for my sons, they really did grow up and out of some of their more questionable habits into very fine men--wonderful husbands and great and involved with their children fathers. Hope this gives you encouragement for the future.




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