Wednesday, June 26, 2013

In the Mommy Room

You guys know that it's a struggle for me to keep my house clean, right? That it's usually pretty awful, even though I'm really and truly trying? Sigh... I should be embarrassed but I'm starting to think a messy house is like a boob stain for me - part of my personality that really can't be denied. 

When we bought this house in 2011, I was the happiest person on earth. I love this house. It's perfect for us. It's set up so that when you walk in, you pretty much just see one room to your left. It's a living room - or actually more of a sitting room. I decided to call it the Mommy Room. It's where we put everything we own that is nice or worth more than $5 or purchased some place other than Target. 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

This is a Masterpiece Except I Can't Understand It

Last week, Mini (my 4 year old) drew this picture. It's apparently a picture of me and her dad at our wedding 16 years ago and we're about to kiss. When she said the word "kiss" she drew it out so that it had about 45 syllables and then she sighed and said: "GWOSS".

Then I took a good look at the picture and I was like "WHAAAA?!?!?"

I posted it on Facebook: "Please note the purple girl playing drums on the left and the yellow man on the right playing what I was assured by the artist is a banjo. Also, she seems to have created some sort of symbol-based language and written a code at the top."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Horrifying Conversation with Mini: Seltzer Edition

As you know, my four year old daughter Mini is both awesome and horrifying. Here is yet another example of both her ability to be hilarious and my ability to fail as a parent.

Allow me to set the scene. We're eating dinner and Mini asks for a sip of her father's seltzer water. He hands it to her and she takes a big sip and then burps. Then she starts maniacally laughing.

Then everything got weird again.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

It's Only 20 Feet

You know what's crazy? My kids and the car. It takes them 159 years from the time they hear "It's time to go" to when they actually get in the dang van. However, if they hear the ice cream truck then WHOOOOSH! They're out the door, with shoes on, in under 5 seconds. We all know this. It's one of the universal laws of parenting.

But we don't talk much about the other end of this equation. We don't talk about what is required to get kids from the car into the house. It's a problem that ebbs and flows. Sometimes it's not that bad. Then again sometimes I wonder if the three of them are working together to send me to the Nervous Hospital. Because it's only 20 feet, it just shouldn't be that hard. And yet... It is.

So I created a list of 10 rules (more like suggestions, really) to help my kids get from the car into the house without me needing a sedative.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Horrifying Conversations with Mini: Disney World Edition

I took some time off this month to catch up on end of the school year stuff, finish deadlines, and unplug with my family. Thanks to the Capn's crazy travel schedule - that unplugged time took the form of going to Disney World compliments of his frequent flyer miles. YAY!!

It was so much fun, and dare I say it -- almost magical. Except for the daily meltdowns (mine), some sibling fighting (the big kids), and of course - a couple of mortifying conversations with Mini. I will say this, we very much needed time away from the rest of the world as a family and this trip was exactly what we needed to reconnect with each other.

But before you start thinking that I am one of those annoying moms you want to block on Facebook because they post nothing but precious, happy memories from their perfect family vacation, let me share this conversation with Mini:

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