Thursday, June 20, 2013

How Motherhood Is Like Having a Bad Boyfriend

Super hawt, right?
This guest post is part of a series featuring the bad ass mamas who contributed to book "I Just Want to Pee Alone". Please meet the incredibly talented and insanely gorgeous, Keesha Beckford. Here's her bio:

Before her two children re-choreographed her life, Keesha was a professional dancer who performed in the U.S. and in Europe. Today she is a master modern and jazz dance teacher in the Chicago area. She is also the human cyclone behind the popular blog Mom’s New Stage. A multitasker at heart, she shows fierce skills at simultaneously writing, choreographing, checking Facebook and Pinterest updates, playing the role of a mother named Joan “Kumbaya” Crawford, and overcooking food. Find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google+.

"I lose my temper and say horrible things, and then, when they cry, I come back with, 'I'm sorry, sweetie. I love you. You know I love you baby'," a mom buddy of mine confessed. "I feel like an abusive husband."

She nailed it - a shameful analogy, but totally true.

But was it one sided?  Were we parents the only "abusive" ones?  I mean sure, as parents and adults we should certainly have more mastery over our anger responses, and there is no excuse whatsoever for violence against a child.  But our children have us by the metaphorical balls.  Because of our enabling and anxiety, this generation, unlike any before, has been empowered to wage almost professional level psychological warfare against us, their parents.

The last time I felt this level of constant manipulation was when I was a younger, stupider version of myself, in a relationship that could be best compared to Hannah's in the amazing HBO series Girls (that's all I'm going to say, Iest folks curse me for being a spoiler.)  Here are the parallels:

(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013

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