Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What Have You Learned So far This Summer?

I looked at the calendar this morning and realized that the summer is now half over and HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?! I may have had a small meltdown. Because I had big plans, you guys. I was going to work with my kids every day on math and reading and handwriting and we weren't going to watch too much TV or play too much Minecraft. We were going to spend meaningful! family! time! We were going to learn all the things! It was going to be so awesome and enriching and fun. 

Except no. Because those workbooks are all still empty and none of the new pencils have even been sharpened. So last night at dinner I asked my kids if they've learned anything this summer. They looked at me like I was insane. Or speaking Hungarian. 

So I asked them again: "what have you learned so far this summer?"

Please add this to the list of questions not to ask your children. Here are some of their responses:

1. "Cake and Bacon. I learned those two things go together. First, they sound awesome when you say them together and second, I bet they taste even awesomer when you eat them together. I also think tomorrow should be cake and bacon day."

2. "Mommy makes reading books not fun. Yes. Because when you tell me to read it is not fun to read, that's why."

3. "Narwhales beat kangaroos any time at all. Really."

4. "Mommy thinks nectarines are dessert. NECTARINES ARE NOT DESSERT, MOMMY."

5. "We are really good at going to the craft store and getting all kinds of creative and learning stuff and then coming home and watching TV."

6. "This is important and I learned it at swim team! HEAR THIS: don't dive in too deep or you will get all scraped up."

7. "When I was watching "Love It or List It" with Meema, I noticed that they never show the really good house that they might want to buy until the very end. That's stupid. They should show that house at the beginning so you know what you're dealing with."

8. "Mommy will say no if you ask for the ice cream from the ice cream truck. Even on special occasions because mommy is mean."

9. "Our great great great grandfather was attacked by beavers. FIERCE AND TERRIFYING BEAVERS. And he had to shoot them because they were going to attack the farm and kidnap the women and children. Wait. Indians, not beavers."

10. "School is actually very dangerous and bad and we should never go back."

(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013