Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Horrifying Conversations with Mini: Who Is the Smartest?

Photo Credit: CreativeOxFoto
Every night, I lie down with my 4 year old Mini for a few minutes to help her fall asleep. Yes, I know. She's four and I still do that. You can stop judging me now.

Every night she wants to talk and I want her to go to sleep. Every night she asks me questions trying to get me to engage and every night I walk that fine line between tuning her out in a calm, zen-filled way and falling completely asleep for the night.


This was last night:
Mini: Mama. Right? Right, mama? Did you hear me, mama?
Me: Shhhh... ((trying to meditate - empty my mind, breathe, not lose my schmidt because she won't be quiet and go to sleep after 14 hours of non-stop talking))
Mini: It's ok, mama. (pats me gently on the face) I think you're smarter than 'Lina.  (Lina is her 10 year old sister)
Me: Shhhhhh... Time for sleeping.
Mini: I do think you're smarter than her even though she's very smart.
Me: Very smart. Shhhh...
Mini: BUT DO YOU THINK SO? Do you think you're smarter than her?
Me: Well, I'm older so I know more stuff. But I honestly don't know.
Mini: You're smarter.
Me: Ok. Let' go to slee--
Mini: And Daddy is smarter than you. (pats my face again, but not that gently. Pat! Pat!)
Me: (Giving up on getting her to go to sleep for the time being) Really? Why is Daddy smarter than me?
Mini: Well, he's older than you so he knows more of the things. Like you said. (gives me side eye)
Me: OK...
Mini: (shrugs) And then also he is just smarter.
Me: What makes him smarter?
Mini: (Thinks about it. Raises one eyebrow.) Well, he knows a lot about the 1980's.
Me: Really? Like what?
Mini: (sighs because it's so obvious) That our flag was still there.
Me: (Pause to stifle my choke/laugh) I see. What else does Daddy know about the 80's?
Mini: LEGWARMERS.
Me: Of course. And who is smarter than daddy?
Mini: Only me. Goodnight, mama. (rolls over)

(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013

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