Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Horrifying Conversations with Mini: Who Is the Smartest?

Photo Credit: CreativeOxFoto
Every night, I lie down with my 4 year old Mini for a few minutes to help her fall asleep. Yes, I know. She's four and I still do that. You can stop judging me now.

Every night she wants to talk and I want her to go to sleep. Every night she asks me questions trying to get me to engage and every night I walk that fine line between tuning her out in a calm, zen-filled way and falling completely asleep for the night.

This was last night:
Mini: Mama. Right? Right, mama? Did you hear me, mama?
Me: Shhhh... ((trying to meditate - empty my mind, breathe, not lose my schmidt because she won't be quiet and go to sleep after 14 hours of non-stop talking))
Mini: It's ok, mama. (pats me gently on the face) I think you're smarter than 'Lina.  (Lina is her 10 year old sister)
Me: Shhhhhh... Time for sleeping.
Mini: I do think you're smarter than her even though she's very smart.
Me: Very smart. Shhhh...
Mini: BUT DO YOU THINK SO? Do you think you're smarter than her?
Me: Well, I'm older so I know more stuff. But I honestly don't know.
Mini: You're smarter.
Me: Ok. Let' go to slee--
Mini: And Daddy is smarter than you. (pats my face again, but not that gently. Pat! Pat!)
Me: (Giving up on getting her to go to sleep for the time being) Really? Why is Daddy smarter than me?
Mini: Well, he's older than you so he knows more of the things. Like you said. (gives me side eye)
Me: OK...
Mini: (shrugs) And then also he is just smarter.
Me: What makes him smarter?
Mini: (Thinks about it. Raises one eyebrow.) Well, he knows a lot about the 1980's.
Me: Really? Like what?
Mini: (sighs because it's so obvious) That our flag was still there.
Me: (Pause to stifle my choke/laugh) I see. What else does Daddy know about the 80's?
Me: Of course. And who is smarter than daddy?
Mini: Only me. Goodnight, mama. (rolls over)

(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013


  1. LOVE her.

    And don't feel bad. My daughter is 8 and I still hang out with her while she falls asleep. (And yes, half the time, I'm probably asleep before she is.)

  2. I still lay down with my 6 year old to get her to go to sleep and my four year old boy as well. Not judging you at all.

  3. This girl is so funny. You obviously have her your gift of wise little soul meets twisted sense of humor. Love this!

  4. Hilarious. I have a four-year-old girl, and I swear we have had this same conversation. And also, she NEVER.STOPS.TALKING.

  5. My daughter is 3 and a TALKER as well... I also lay in bed with her for a few minutes and talk or read to her, and the things that she says sometimes are hilarious!

  6. I lay with my 2 1/2 year old girl until she falls asleep and truly don't see a time when this will end - but I do the same thing as you and try to meditate or something. I try to think of myself as providing a kind of comforting peace for her to fall asleep with but occasionally her non-stop chatter makes me rage internally...

  7. I feel exactly the same way about my four year old. For the love of dog, just go to sleep. He came downstairs last night to tell me stuff he forgot to tell me before he was tucked in.

  8. Nothing there to judge. Great conversation!

  9. Toddler logic is the best and it sounds like she is pretty eloquent to boot. Enjoy.

  10. I just have to say that although I have never met Mini, I LOVE her!! Every one of the posts that you do about your conversations with her crack me up and make me realize that my "mini" is just a normal little cupcake baked by the devil. . . please keep posting these conversations!!




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