Tuesday, August 6, 2013

10 Things I Don't Want to Hear Before 7AM

Photo credit: Keattikorn
I love to sleep. I LOVE IT. I do not like to wakey wakey eggs and bakey. So waking me up can sometimes be hard. I try and be nice when I first wake up but it's not easy. It takes a lot of effort to use my kind, nice mommy voice when really I want to snarl "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SLEEP PAST 7AM?!?!"

As we all know, the psychological difference between being woken up at 6:56 AM vs 7:01 AM is significant. Now that the kids are getting a little older, things really are getting better. But I thought I would share a few of things I have woken up to over the past couple of years. The following are all actual statements my kids have said to me before 7am in an effort to wake me up. These are the statements I remember because it was nearly impossible not to use my Mean Mommy voice.


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(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013

26 comments:

  1. Truth. I'm all in for a list of what we don't want our spouses to say before 7 a.m. also.

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    Replies
    1. Ha, Yes. Or at 1AM, CHRIST.

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    2. Lol yes I agree!!! A spouse list would be great!

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  2. At least 3 of those have happened to me this summer...no diapers and no one told me (until 36 hours later) that my three darling boys had tied blankets and quilts together and lowered the biggest one out a window onto a roof over the edge and then down 3 or so of the 10 or so feet to the ground at which time he crashed into a rose bush.....oh on the morning of my 39th birthday when I slept in until 8 am..........

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  3. I laughs out loud about the friend that might move next year! Too funny. Sounds like you have a total drama queen (or king?) on your hands!

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  4. How about using her fingers to open my eyelid, then screaming into my eyeball as though it were a microphone "I WANT PANCAKES!".

    Another time my little piece of angel food cake woke me up by punching my arm and yelling an indignant "There is a chicken wing on the floor!". It seems the cat had raided the garbage in the night, and somehow it was my fault and punishable by an abusive wake up call.

    Now how about a chart for things you should never have to say while still have asleep. Such as "Why are you WET?".

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    Replies
    1. Tears in my eyes from that one...thanks for the laugh. :)

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  5. At 4 yrs old, my little darling climbed onto my bed, pulled open my eyelids and said, "Get up, Mommy! You're not nocturnal!" Apparently the sun had just come up.

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  6. At least yours actually get up. Mine just screams "MOMMY!!!!!!" from her bedroom. If I ignore her, she will eventually get up and come in. At which point she tells me in her best injured drama queen princess voice -- "Mommy, I yelled for you! Why didn't you come????"

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    Replies
    1. THIS is my morning every morning. Or even better - the banging on her bedroom door (some might call it knocking) for me to come inside to get her. This morning when I asked - why are you crying? Her honest 3 yr old self says "because I wanted you"...mind you I could see through the video monitor that she HAD NOT STEPPED ONE FOOT OUT of her OWN bed!!!

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  7. Crying with laughter at this....and the responses so far, hang in there, they will sleep in eventually, when they are in their teens, but then you get to stay up half the night while they need you to pick them up from work, or are out on a date....basically no sleep for you!! (sorry!)

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  8. Hey, just a head's up, your site's not loading at http://rantsfrommommyland.com, it's one of those generic "would you like to buy this domain" pages. Only when you add in the www. does it come up. Not sure what's causing that issue.

    Also the photographs in the new Captcha are intensely blurry - very hard to read.

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  9. After dinner one night near my son's birthday, my MIL took him to the Lego store to pick out his gift. She got him one of the larger sets, that came in numbered bags for the order in which to build? Since it was close to bedtime, we let him build bag 1 and told him he could build bag 2 tomorrow.

    He got me up at FIVE AM the next day to open his bag for him. I sent him back to bed, but once I'm awake, I'm awake. Grrrrr! Rookie mistake, right? I will NEVER allow him to build half a set at a time again!

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  10. HAHAHAHA My 2 year old threw a sloshy diaper on my face too!! SO GROOOOOOOOOSS

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  11. I soooooo don't want to be that woman. But....can't...fight...the....urge.... it's "prostrate" not "prostate".... *heavy breathing**heavy breathing*

    I know it was probably an auto-correct thing, but you know that disorder that makes otherwise normal women have to correct certain words? (I can ignore grammar. Most of the time.) Yeah. I has that.

    But you are SOOOOO funny. I big, pink, puffy heart you guys. And please don't ever go anywhere. All my favorite bloggers seem to be throwing in the towel because of trolls and this "life" thing they keep talking about.

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    Replies
    1. It says prostrate. Or am I missing something?

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  12. This morning: "Mum mum mum mum mum mum mummum mummy mummy mummmy."
    "Yeeeeeessss?"
    "Dacat fwewup on da caw pit."
    "whuuuu??"
    "Dacat FWEWIP on da COW pit!"
    "Thats nice dear, that's a good girl...?"
    -Blank Stare, exasperated sigh,"Da CAT fwewew UP on da COW-ar pit!!"
    ----brain slowly spinning up to operational levels...some something about the cat and....Oh God.
    "The cat threw up?" "Yeth." "On the carpet?" "YETH! Get up and CWEAN IT UP, MUMMMY!"
    All before 7 am.

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    Replies
    1. I have tears from laughing so hard! I can soooo relate ... LOL!

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  13. agree. agree. agree. also I don't want to hear about any f*cking minecraft $hit before 7:00 a.m.

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  14. I was literally laughing so hard I went into the ugly cry! I couldn't have picked 10 better... :)

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  15. "MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY.....are you sleeping?"

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  16. I need you to put in the code on the tv so I can watch a show!

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  17. For the first six months or so after starting potty training, our little guy flat-out refused to take a bm in the potty. Instead, he would go in his Pull-Up around 5:45 every morning, waking us up to his glorious yells of, "I pooped! I pooped! Hey! I pooooped!!" until one of us would get up and walk into his room.

    Apparently, walking into our bedroom and telling us in a normal way (or actually going on the potty) was just too hard at this stage.

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  18. My son comes in to my room, pulls back the curtains and yells cockadoodle dooo!!!

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