Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Don't Ask Your Kids: What did you do when daddy was away?

The Cap'n just got home from a business trip where he had been out of the country for a while. At breakfast this morning, he looked at the faces of his smiling children and was like: "So… kids, what did you do when I was away?"

OF COURSE, those little heifers told him every single thing I let them do to: 

(a) turn "sad kitten daddy is gone faces" into "happy kitten mommy is in charge" faces, 
(b) make my life slightly easier because he was gone and I was sick, and 
(c) try to manage on my own with 3 kids, 2 jobs and 1 house partially under construction.

So the Cap'n asked the kids what they did when he was away and here's what they said:

Mini: I watched TV.
Hawk: (shrugs) Minecraft.
'Lina: Well, I overslept a lot but that was good. I was tired because of how late we went to bed.
Hawk: Mom bought me a coke with caffeine and everything. And not a small! A medium! From McDonalds!
Mini: All the mommies came over and sat on the floor in the mommy room and they ate in there and drank in there and you're NOT apposed to do that.
Hawk: I had like 12 friends over at one time.
'Lina: We went to the craft store and we got SO MUCH stuff. We could barely carry it to the car.
Hawk: I had a sleep over except we didn't sleep.
'Lina: We went to Mr. Kevin's house to look at the stuff for your bathroom and his squirrel climbed up my shirt and I petted his head. The squirrel's head.
Mini: I wore my tutu all day long.
Hawk: We had donuts for breakfast that we got at the store that mom said were too expensive. They're special because they're pumpkin donuts.

'Lina: Mommy made us pick up our rooms because the day you left she called the cleaning lady that you say she can never, ever call again because we're not "cleaning lady people". But the cleaning lady came and that's why the house isn't gross. She says when you leave the country, she can call the cleaning lady.

The Cap'n just stared at me, over his glasses, expressionless. 

Thank you for all the truth, children. Thank you.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013

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