The Thanksgiving Wegmans Hunger Games

Not today, Wegmans. Because today you are Thunderdome.

A lady named Paula Raymond-Trafton (who lives in my town but I've haven't met her yet) wrote this post after going to Wegmans yesterday to do her Thanksgiving grocery shopping. I went today. It was INSANITY. But then the cashier carded me and that made it all OK. 

So if you've had to deal with the ridiculousness that is grocery shopping pre-Thanksgiving, you will enjoy this:

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Finding Holiday Zen… BWAAA HAAA HAAA!!!!

A couple of weeks ago, I did a sponsored post for The Century Council about helping teens to drive safely. When they contacted me again last week about doing another sponsored post, this time about moms managing holiday stress for their Talk Early program, I was like "HELLS YEAH. That's more money to give away this Christmas since we can't do the gift card exchange! WOO HOO!" 

And they were all, "Could you be a little less happy about our taking our money?" And I said: "No. It's part of how I reduce my holiday stress. So you're welcome for getting into the spirit of this post."*

*This conversation took place entirely inside my imagination.

Thanksgiving by Perspective

Very, Very Early Morning:

Moms: Grumble grumble... Time to put the turkey in the oven. Wait. How can this freaking bird still be frozen? 

Dads: Zzzzzzzz...

Kids: Yay! It’s Thanksgiving! Let’s be awake now! Because yay! It’s Thanksgiving! (same child who must be dragged out of bed to go to school)

Mid Morning:

Moms: I’m already so tired. How can there still be so much to do? How can we be out of sage?! I buy sage every year for this exact thing and I never use it all. There should be 15 sages here.

Dads: GOOD MORNING, FAMILY! 

Kids: The parade is so awesome! Can I have another breakfast?

NEW ORLEANS with your kids?! Oh even yesser.

See Coleen Kelly traveling happily with small people?
With no screaming and everyone smiling? Sigh...

Do you travel with your kids? When I say that I "travel with my kids", I'm actually talking about driving to NJ to go see my mom. I mean, we went to Disney World but that place is for kids. I'm talking about traveling to places that are not Disney or my mom's house. Places where kids can experience culture and actually become more aware of the world around them. 

I'm going to be honest - we don't do much of that. In part because it's hard. In part because it's expensive. Also? I have no idea what I'm doing and I usually get overwhelmed and act like a huge B. But there's a show on PBS called Family Travel with Colleen Kelly that helps clueless parents (like me) feel like traveling with kids might actually be fun instead of a giant cluster or a potentially international incident. 

RIP BWT: Eulogy for A Crappy Van

Sometimes something happens that seems like its not a big deal, but then it is. You find yourself crying in a high school parking lot behind the auto tech classroom wondering what the hell is going on.

You see, a couple of weeks ago the Big White Ford Tampon started acting weird. It got all jumpy. Then it got shaky - really shaky. It got to the point where the kids got scared when we drove out of the neighborhood. I had the Cap'n drive it and he was decisive: "The transmission is going out. We only have a few more weeks."

Your Kids Are Weird, Too!?!

I have to kick this post off by saying that you all are funny. Seriously. After we publish a post we often text back and forth with our favorite reader comments. Yes, yes we do. I'll be at Target and a text from Lydia will come through with the funniest comment from the blog and suddenly I'm that mom with bags under eyes and three crying children, laughing like madwoman in the toilet paper aisle.

Like remember last week when we wrote about how flipping ridiculous our kids can be? It tuns out we're not alone. My phone blew up last week with Lydia texting me all her favorite comments from you guys. Theses were our favorites:

Let's Commemorate Bored & Angry!

I asked my daughter Mini (age 4) to draw me a picture. I asked her to close her eyes and think about what it felt like to be part of our family. She closed her eyes and sweetly sighed. I asked her how she felt. She said: "Sometimes I feel bored but mostly… angry." Then she shrugged.

I was not expecting that so I said: "Just a draw the picture, kid."

And she did. She drew a picture of what it feels like to be part of our family and this is what it looked like:

The Domestic Enemies of the Diabetes Mom

Diabetes is a big freaking deal and this month is Diabetes Awareness Month. While I'm only marginally informed on the medical in's and out's  - this guest momma knows all about it. Getting a scary diagnosis might seem like a really horrible thing. That is until your child is the one who gets the diagnosis. 

Read on...
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On November 7, 2003, my then 3 year old L’il Miss was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes.  Shortly after our 5 day stay in the local Children’s Hospital, we discovered an abundance of domestic enemies. In honor of her 10 year D-versary & Diabetes Awareness Month I must rant…..

Moms (at least me) are Just as Bad as Kids.

So yesterday I wrote a post about how kids are totally weird and absurd and they make no sense. Then my 10 year old read the post and was like: "Yeah that's true BUT YOU'RE WEIRD, TOO."

And she told me how. And she's totally right. So I wrote up a bunch of things moms do that are just as annoying as the weird things that kids do.

I'm really hoping that it's not just me. That I'm not the only one who finds herself saying something to her children and then cringing when I realize the implications of what I just said when applied to my own behavior.

You know what I'm talking about, right? When you're telling your kid off for being too focused on his DS and your phone goes PING! and you have to subdue the overwhelming urge to pause your child in order to check your phone? THAT. That horrifying Moment of Clarity.

Kids are So Weird and Absurd and They Don't Even Know It

Lately, I've been noticing that a large part of parenting is dealing with my kids just being… ABSURD. And there is a certain degree of futility in dealing with people who are behaving this way but have absolutely no knowledge that they are making no damn sense.

I asked Guru Louise about this, who in addition to being my very dear friend and a mother of three, is also a fully academically and professionally credentialed child development expert. She was like OH HELLS YES I UNDERSTAND. She also said this was normal. 

I shared with her some examples of what I was talking about. Here are some examples starting with baby-age children and going through teenagers. All Some of these examples are our own kids and beloved family members (we won't say which).