Moms: Grumble grumble... Time to put the turkey in the oven. Wait. How can this freaking bird still be frozen?
Kids: Yay! It’s Thanksgiving! Let’s be awake now! Because yay! It’s Thanksgiving! (same child who must be dragged out of bed to go to school)
Moms: I’m already so tired. How can there still be so much to do? How can we be out of sage?! I buy sage every year for this exact thing and I never use it all. There should be 15 sages here.
Dads: GOOD MORNING, FAMILY!
Moms: Crap! They’re almost here. Crap. I still haven’t showered. Crap. Where are the rolls? CRAP. Why isn’t the table set?
Men: Do you need some help? Um... Why do you look so angry?
Kids: When’s dinner? I’m hungry. I smell turkey. When are they getting here? Can I eat that?
Moms: Sigh... This is beautiful. All of us together enjoying this bountiful meal. We’re making such wonderful family memor--- STOP DOING THAT WITH YOUR FORK.
Men: Now I shall carve this turkey for all of you! VOILA! Here is your dinner, family!
Kids: TURKEY TURKEY TURKEY. PIE PIE PIE.
Moms: Surveys the debris in the kitchen/dining room. Sighs and pours another glass.
Men: COMA. Followed by football.
Kids: COMA. Followed by incredible resurgance of energy. Let’s play outside! Let’s watch TV! Let’s eat more pie!
Moms: COMA. In chair. Not moving. Don’t even ask. Not getting up.
Men: I’m hungry. OOoooooh! Star Wars is on!
Kids: I’m hungry, too. OOoooooh! Is Star Wars is on?!
Moms: I’m hungry. OOoooooh! ‘Love Actually’ is on!
Men: ZZzzzzzzzKids: ZZzzzzzzz
I should state for the record that my husband actually cooks the Thanksgiving feast at our house, because he's a great cook and also because I can't handle the pressure and turn into a huge B. I AM THANKFUL THAT HE DOES THIS because it's bad for everyone when my holiday B takes over. I hate this about myself but I can't change it. Running out of kosher salt will send me into a rage spiral when I've spent 6 hours cooking non-stop. I have a problem. I know this.
Also! There's a very cute Venn diagram describing what families REALLY think about Thanksgiving over at Babble, so give it a click!
(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013