Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving by Perspective

Very, Very Early Morning:
Moms: Grumble grumble... Time to put the turkey in the oven. Wait. How can this freaking bird still be frozen? 
Dads: Zzzzzzzz...
Kids: Yay! It’s Thanksgiving! Let’s be awake now! Because yay! It’s Thanksgiving! (same child who must be dragged out of bed to go to school)

Mid Morning:
Moms: I’m already so tired. How can there still be so much to do? How can we be out of sage?! I buy sage every year for this exact thing and I never use it all. There should be 15 sages here.
Kids: The parade is so awesome! Can I have another breakfast?

Early Afternoon:
Moms: Crap! They’re almost here. Crap. I still haven’t showered. Crap. Where are the rolls? CRAP. Why isn’t the table set?
Men: Do you need some help? Um... Why do you look so angry?
Kids: When’s dinner? I’m hungry. I smell turkey. When are they getting here? Can I eat that? 

Mid Afternoon:
Moms: Sigh... This is beautiful. All of us together enjoying this bountiful meal. We’re making such wonderful family memor--- STOP DOING THAT WITH YOUR FORK.
Men: Now I shall carve this turkey for all of you! VOILA! Here is your dinner, family!

Late Afternoon:
Moms: Surveys the debris in the kitchen/dining room. Sighs and pours another glass.
Men: COMA. Followed by football.
Kids: COMA. Followed by incredible resurgance of energy. Let’s play outside! Let’s watch TV! Let’s eat more pie!

Moms: COMA. In chair. Not moving. Don’t even ask. Not getting up.
Men: I’m hungry. OOoooooh! Star Wars is on!
Kids: I’m hungry, too. OOoooooh! Is Star Wars is on?!

Night time:
Moms: I’m hungry. OOoooooh! ‘Love Actually’ is on!
Men: ZZzzzzzzz
Kids: ZZzzzzzzz

I should state for the record that my husband actually cooks the Thanksgiving feast at our house, because he's a great cook and also because I can't handle the pressure and turn into a huge B. I AM THANKFUL THAT HE DOES THIS because it's bad for everyone when my holiday B takes over. I hate this about myself but I can't change it. Running out of kosher salt will send me into a rage spiral when I've spent 6 hours cooking non-stop. I have a problem. I know this.

Also! There's a very cute Venn diagram describing what families REALLY think about Thanksgiving over at Babble, so give it a click!

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013


  1. Thanksgiving has always been my husband's favorite, and now that we live 3000 miles from all family members and eat our turkey in our pjs, it's my favorite, too. Also, he does most of the cooking. I really should brag about that more.

  2. My husband does the holiday cooking too. Except for the yams and the cookies, I do those. XD

  3. I am DYING laughing reading this because it is SO TRUE!!-Ashley

  4. Once again, I feel like you are a kindred spirit. I also turn into a raging B on Thanksgiving if I'm in charge of the cooking. When Thankgiving is at my house, my husband has to hold my hand through it all. He's so sweet he tells everyone that I cooked the Turkey. And I make my meal a pitch in so I get help from my family. It's either that or I lose my schmidt and screech at the children all day.

  5. The meal I can deal with. Its the cleaning and house prep and people that expect me to take care of the regular daily stuff while I am making said meal. You want breakfast and lunch? Cereal and cereal. Except don't get in my way while you pour that bowl of cereal and if you leave that on the counter so help me.......




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