Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Horrifying Conversations with Mini: Her least favorite number

Mini is learning to read. More precisely, Mini is learning to sound out words. I don't want to rush her into reading (she doesn't start kindergarten until the fall), but the Cap'n thinks she's an evil genius and we should get her literate ASAP so she can begin collecting minions. So he's been working with her and she's getting pretty good at it.

The other day in the van on the way to preschool, Mini and I made eye contact in the rear view mirror. And things got weird.


Me: I love you.
Mini: (sighs) I love you too.
Me: You're cute.
Mini: (shrugs as if to say - I know. Then she sighs again.) You know my least favorite number?"
Me: No.
Mini: C.
Me: That's not actually a number.
Mini: I know.
Me: It's a letter.
Mini: I ALREADY KNOW.
Me: You don't like C.
Mini: No. C is the worst.
Me: Why is that?
Mini: It's the CAH. 
Me: The CAH?
Mini: It should be K. ((mutters under her breathe)) It should all be K.
Me: I see.
Mini: (shaking her small head in disgust) Coffee.
Mini: (a few minutes later, equally disgusted) Cats.
Mini: (snorting) Cars.
Me: There's also S.
Mini: I like S.
Me: I know but C takes the S sound, too. 
Mini: WHAT?
Me: Like celery and cease and Cinderella. 
Mini: Yes. Cinderella. YES.
(I pause for a minute because I can tell that her mind is blown.)
Me: C is complicated.
Mini: C is not complicated. C steals things. C STEALS THEIR SOUNDS.
Me: Yes.
Mini: I hate C. It's definitively the worst number. When a wizard or a scientist finally makes me that potion and I get Elsa's powers, I'm killing C.
Me: ???
Mini: What?
Me: You're getting a potion from a wizard or a scientist and it's going to give you Elsa's powers?
Mini: (with one eyebrow raised because I'm a dummy) YES.
Me: This whole conversation worries me. A lot. And C is a letter.
Mini: I KNOW. I know.


Let this serve as a warning to C… Watch your ass, buddy.
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35 comments:

  1. I love Mimi and the way her mind works. Rotten C steals things. And that number/letter better watch out.

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  2. I agree, Mini. C is a stupid, superfluous letter that has no business being in our alphabet. Wait until you meet X. As an English major I have to apologize for the crazy you are about to encounter as you learn to read.

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    Replies
    1. Jessica just won the internet. And Mini is awesome.

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  3. LOL! I've always said C should only exist for the "ch" sound (and the H with it should be unnecessary). That's a kid after my own heart.

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  4. What about (k)nights, then? C must have been stealing the sound.

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  5. ROFL...I'm sitting here this morning, not feeling good - headache, stomachache & really needed a laugh. I knew your blog wouldn't disappoint. I'll never be able to look at the number c the same way again.

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  6. Just fantastic. That damn "C"...always messing everything up.

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  7. I agree with her. C is a terrible number.

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  8. that is pure awesomeness... love it.

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  9. PLEASE reenact this a la "Conversations with my 2 year old"!!!

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  10. And then there's co-dependent Q, who can't function without u.

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  11. You know what else starts with C? Corn dog, corn dog, corn dog, corn dog!

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  12. Died at: "It should all be K." lol. Awesome kid.

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  13. I love this kid! Adorably right ! Wonder what she things of x

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  14. Just.....awesome. Totally waiting for my daughter to reach this stage so I have epic stories like this to tell.

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  15. She and my daughter should talk. No. Wait. They shouldn't. They would team up and form a terrifying alliance and then no number of the alphabet would be safe. Starting with "C".

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  16. She'd be quite happy in Hawaii then, their alphabet doesn't have a C, they use K instead :) Also, Mini is awesome.

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  17. I think my brain has been affected by too many Dora books, but I couldn't help but picture a Dora-Alphabet Special after reading this.

    "Number C! NO SWIPING!!!"

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  18. Kids are incredible. And that is quite apparent in this post. And terrifying.

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  19. Your Mini and My Little Monster would be the best of friends....

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  20. Your Mini and my Little Monster would be the best of friends...we had a whole conversation about her favorite letter "L" and how everyone should love it, because it is L.

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  21. HA! I love this! That is great :)

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  22. A cute little girl and intelligent. Thanks for your story about Mini

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  23. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of
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  24. Great Love. Thanks the story!

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  25. Great the story. I think my brain has been affected by too many Dora books, but I couldn't help but picture a Dora-Alphabet Special after reading this.

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  26. Excilent girls mimi. I think my brain has been affected by too many Dora books, but I couldn't help but picture a Dora-Alphabet Special after reading this.

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