Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Horrifying Conversations with Mini: Her least favorite number

Mini is learning to read. More precisely, Mini is learning to sound out words. I don't want to rush her into reading (she doesn't start kindergarten until the fall), but the Cap'n thinks she's an evil genius and we should get her literate ASAP so she can begin collecting minions. So he's been working with her and she's getting pretty good at it.

The other day in the van on the way to preschool, Mini and I made eye contact in the rear view mirror. And things got weird.

Me: I love you.
Mini: (sighs) I love you too.
Me: You're cute.
Mini: (shrugs as if to say - I know. Then she sighs again.) You know my least favorite number?
Me: No.
Mini: C.
Me: That's not actually a number.
Mini: I know.
Me: It's a letter.
Me: You don't like C.
Mini: No. C is the worst.
Me: Why is that?
Mini: It's the CAH. 
Me: The CAH?
Mini: It should be K. ((mutters under her breathe)) It should all be K.
Me: I see.
Mini: (shaking her small head in disgust) Coffee.
Mini: (a few minutes later, equally disgusted) Cats.
Mini: (snorting) Cars.
Me: There's also S.
Mini: I like S.
Me: I know but C takes the S sound, too. 
Mini: WHAT?
Me: Like celery and cease and Cinderella. 
Mini: Yes. Cinderella. YES.
(I pause for a minute because I can tell that her mind is blown.)
Me: C is complicated.
Mini: C is not complicated. C steals things. C STEALS THEIR SOUNDS.
Me: Yes.
Mini: I hate C. It's definitively the worst number. When a wizard or a scientist finally makes me that potion and I get Elsa's powers, I'm killing C.
Me: ???
Mini: What?
Me: You're getting a potion from a wizard or a scientist and it's going to give you Elsa's powers?
Mini: (with one eyebrow raised because I'm a dummy) YES.
Me: This whole conversation worries me. A lot. And C is a letter.
Mini: I KNOW. I know.

Let this serve as a warning to C… Watch your ass, buddy.

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