Wednesday, June 25, 2014

PMS and Science

Things are crazy around here right now. So you can understand why now would be a bad time to have the PMS. That having the PMS at this stressed-out moment would result in periodic and wildly embarrassing crying jags and the occasional abrupt transition into being a raging B/Disney Villian. On a good day, I could handle the immense amounts of stuff on my to do list in fairly good humor. But PMS days are not my good days. In fact, I made a chart to illustrate:

(You can click this to make it bigger. Not that size matters.)

Maybe you're skeptical about how the data on that chart proves definitively the effect of hormones on my emotional health and ability to deal. Maybe you need another chart.

Oh, I can. It's clearly evident, my friends.

Ovaries don't lie.
I also polled trusted experts in medicine, advanced scientific studies, and exotic lady parts -- they concurred.


I think I have demonstrated that I'm an authority on this subject. I thought about maybe turning this blog post into a Ted Talk or something. But sadly, if I had to do it this week, it would just be me getting stressed out and and snapping at the audience and maybe yelling a little bit. Then apologizing right away, then crying because I feel bad that I yelled at them. And I would probably make really bad food choices at lunch and then walk on stage with a smear of queso on my boob. That wouldn't be cool.

Whatever, PMS is dumb.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2014

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  1. With you all the way. I am in fact spooning chocolate peanut butter into my mouth at this very moment.
    Science is a real B sometimes.

  2. Your experts are my favorite.

  3. I just killed a chocolate rabbit that's been hanging around since Easter. Now I wanna cry cos it never had a chance.

    1. hee hee hee hee heh heh. Yeah.

    2. I am laughing silently at work and making my eyes tear up. This comment was so funny.

  4. Did my cycle sync with yours just by reading your blog? Damn you, science.

  5. Your science chart is brilliant!!! Leave it to a woman to crack the code of PMS.

  6. Love the chart! I hit premenopause a few years ago and my PMS is now closest to your "When I'm Pregnant" levels--only the BLUE swallowed half of the GREEN. It's hell for my dh since it can now hit at a somewhat random time.

    Chocolate anything in the house, like that innocent rabbit above, will never stand a chance. Thanks for reading our minds and giving us a laugh!

  7. Yes! Yes! Yes! I am on hormone replacement therapy for 3 days a month because of my raging and crying because I can't control raging! Sometimes it is the only thing keeping me from releasing a nuclear weapon in the world...

  8. I went from a 5-counter to a NO FLIPPING CHANCES JUST DO WHAT THE EFF I SAID WITHOUT GIVING ME ANY CRAP! two days ago. The same day my loving husband went out of town for a week. I'm pretty sure my boys think Godzilla posessed their mom.

  9. I hear ya! And I love your love of charts as an epidemiologist/statistician working in Public Health. I think I am getting in to that Peri phase (O__o). The rage is unbelievable. My daughter told me I have been cranky a lot lately and even though she is on the verge of 13 and cranky a lot too, I think she is right :(

  10. Well I'm officially terrified for the silent passage.




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