Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Retro Prom & BlogU

It was on a college campus. It was so pretty!
Last weekend I went to my first ever blog conference. You guys, it was terrifying. I only went because it was run by the same women who contributed to the anthology "I Just Want to Pee Alone".  You might remember that I was in that book and I liked them all so much that I let them guest post all over Mommyland for months because I wanted you guys to love them as I do.

So anyway, for the past 18 months, we've all been in this FB group. And since we're all addicted to social media and always on stupid Facebook - well, we all know all about each other's lives and have seen pictures of each other's kids, and homes, and whatever. I wanted to meet them all in real life and the conference was only about 90 minutes from my house so I went ahead and bought my ticket to Blog U.

I then spent the next month trying to figure out how to get out of going because I was scared of meeting all these women who:
  • I really like (at least on Facebook) 
  • Look up to (in some cases, rabidly fan girl-style)
  • Feel like I know but I don't actually know.
  • What if they all meet me and are mean or they instantly dislike me and SHUN ME THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME?!
The last thing scared me the most. Because while I'm a blustering, garrulous, fool of an extrovert - I also have extremely low self-esteem and I'm convinced everyone hates me because I'm horrible. Now you know my secret. [Editor' note: Please stop talking about my friend Lydia this way. She is instantly, insanely lovable. --Guru Louise] But just when I was about to bail on the whole shebang, I found out that there was going to be a book signing for "I Just Want to Pee Alone" and I would get to sign books like a big, fancy person with all my Pee friends! In real life! Plus we'd all be at the same table so they'd have to sit with me at least for that one hour!

Here is some photo evidence of what happened at the book signing:

I saw Anna Luther from My Life and Kids and we monkey hugged. I started to relax.

Then I reenacted the nervous vomit moment from last year with Bethany (I Love Them Most When They're Sleeping) and Teri (Snarkfest)

Jen (People I Want to Punch in the Throat) and I posed together to create this charming scene. 

Then… this happened. 

This is Brenna from Suburban Snapshots. A women who is so funny on Twitter that I wonder if she isn't part witch. Because black magic is usually involved when someone is that funny. I mean, look at the black magic she used to edit this image into something so precious that it makes Prince's doves cry. 

The Friday night was good and magical and I started to relax a bit and even get excited about all the bloggy classes the following day. Then Mini spiked a really high fever and Hawk had a sudden death tournament game get scheduled for the next day, so I had to drive home. I made it back to BlogU for dinner and the prom. Those of you who have known me since High School are probably thinking: "So, she drove like 589 miles in rush hour to be there for the dancing and the cocktail party and whatever but totally skipped all the classes. YES. That sounds entirely accurate."

In my defense, I wanted to be there for the classes. I heard they were awesome and I've been begging the presenters to send me their power points ever since.

High school friends: "So she skipped class and now she's begging people for their notes. Again, sounds about right."

Go f*&k yourself, imaginary high school friend. I'm not like that anymore. Ok fine. I am a little.

WHATEVER. Let's talk about the prom. So NickMom sponsored a 80's themed Retro Prom. What?! I know. And I even had a dress in my closet that I had bought for $20 at TJ Maxx like 3 years ago because I was convinced that I might someday need it. I know the prom was supposed to be 80's retro (and my dress is more 50's housewife) but you try to find a cool 80's outfit in my size at the Thrift Store. It doesn't exist. Also, this was the day for TJ Maxx dress because I knew it would pair perfectly with my daughter's bump it. (Thank you to Frugie for her expert installation.)

Here's some photos from the prom, and you guys - it was in a gym. It felt very 16 Candles.

The beautiful Ilana from Mommy Shorts. You have no idea how great it was to finally meet her in person! We've been bloggy friends since we were both newbies! (I'm silently mouthing I LOVE YOU, ILANA from far away right away right now).

Then there was the magic of Papa Does Preach's blue tux. 

Then Jenny got to second and I was clearly horrified. Oh Jenny. Does this mean we're engaged? 
(Suburban Jungle with Jenny from the Blog, you guys. It's amazing.)

I mean, look at this outfit. It's Kathleen from Middletini in the hizzy.

And this precious angel is Jessica from Herd Management.
I had a great talk with Kathleen and Jessica at the prom and we're all best friends now.

Overall, the experience was so great and even though it was scary to show up and talk to people, it was so worth it. But having to drive home was really an issue for me. Because that's hours in the car, you guys. By myself. Soberly reflecting. On all the stupid things I said. On all the times I was trying to be funny and it came out wrong. I was convinced that I'd acted like the world's biggest asshole the whole time. It turns out it was way worse in my head than in real life, I mean - just look at these pictures!

So just in case you were wondering what it feels like to go to a prom when you're 41 years old… The answer is EXACTLY THE SAME AS IN HIGH SCHOOL. (Except for the sexual tension because there were only like 4 dudes there and 3 of them were working.)

There was a lot more ridiculousness. Just check out Instagram.

And if any of you ever decide to go to a Blog Conference, you should definitely go to this one. BlogU was filled goofy niceness, a desire to help and support each other, and lots of fun.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2014


  1. Loved, Loved, Loved spending time with you at the conference!

    1. I loved it MORE. But then I spent the long ride home late Saturday night thinking about what a huge asshole I was for posting pictures on FB of people without asking them first. So when I was writing this post, I wrote a whole paragraph about you with photos and then I was like - I SHOULD ASK HER FIRST and then I was like - no stop. That's weird. You're being weird and she's going to not like you. So I just deleted the paragraph because I didn't want to weird you out with how much I adore you and how much I loved your book (RARE BIRD, EVERYBODY. IT IS AMAZING.) but then I wrote this reply so whatever.

  2. I couldn't love this post any harder if I tried. Oh wait, I DO, I tried and I DO love this post harder than anything!!!!

  3. You are ADORABLE. Do you have any idea how much Mommyland loves you? I hope it's OK that I totally fangirl out every time we meet. I'm sorry you had so much going on that weekend, but it was great to see you rocking the Bump It. XOXO

  4. I just tried to leave a gushing, I heart you comment, and I fail, I think. So...You are so hilarious and I'm so glad I got to meet you. I'm the person on Friday night that awkwardly told you that I love your blog and that your Five Guys post is hilarious (and later I realized I should have also said that when you mentioned poo corn, I totally lost my shit). What I really wanted to do on Friday was hug you and tell you that you are the reason I started reading mommy blogs/blogs. I also wanted to have my picture taken with you. However, I was so star struck that I pretty much acted like an awkward, shy idiot all weekend, smiling at people with what I'm sure appeared to be crazy eyes. I've been reading you for 3 years and my daughter is only 19 months old. You can also give yourself credit for me being at Blog U--you are so engaging and sincere that I came back to read you everyday and checked back often when you started to post less. As I read you, I began to think that I wanted to write, too. I also trust you when you say to read someone else. That's how I found Mommy Shorts, Pregnant Chicken, and many others. Anyway, this is just a long way of saying you're not awkward, you are funny; I heart you; and I hope to see you next year at Blog U where I will tackle hug've been warned. I'm just starting my blog and going to Blog U and meeting so many great women and man was a great motivator. I mean this is a totally not creepy way--it's all because of you. Michelle B.

  5. I'm pretty sure I got to second with a lot of people that night, but of all the bloggers I got to second with, you were my favorite!

    Also, the moment we had the first night, was the best of my weekend ... because, like you, I was nervous no one would know who the hell I was, or worse, would know and wouldn't care! So, when you came up to me (rather than me nervously avoiding you) I was able to breath and enjoy. Thank you. I too am a huge fan.

    PS they played our song ROB BASE and I looked for you through the whole song in some weird 80s prom movie scene where we were supposed to run to each other in joy. But you were nowhere to be found... I'm pretty sure you were getting felt up by Anna Luther. XOXO

  6. I'm in charge of the presentations. I am. Bad me. I've been too busy napping and reading all these recaps. And I'm going to frame that photo.

  7. Thank you so much for the love! I was so happy to meet you, and even more that you actually wanted to be seen with me in my blue tux.

  8. Meeting you was one of the highlights for us! We'll be back next year so you better come back too! -- Norine and Jessica of Science of Parenthood

  9. You are as funny in real life as you are on the computer screen. And how could YOU be apprehensive? You are fab. (And so is your Bump It.) Hope the little one is fine. Ellen

  10. YOU were apprehensive?? You are fabulous. As is your Bump It. I am so glad you made so much effort to come. Hope the little one is okay. Ellen

  11. Just when I thought I couldn't love you more, I met you! Big love, buddy!




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