Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Retro Prom & BlogU

It was on a college campus. It was so pretty!
Last weekend I went to my first ever blog conference. You guys, it was terrifying. I only went because it was run by the same women who contributed to the anthology "I Just Want to Pee Alone".  You might remember that I was in that book and I liked them all so much that I let them guest post all over Mommyland for months because I wanted you guys to love them as I do.

So anyway, for the past 18 months, we've all been in this FB group. And since we're all addicted to social media and always on stupid Facebook - well, we all know all about each other's lives and have seen pictures of each other's kids, and homes, and whatever. I wanted to meet them all in real life and the conference was only about 90 minutes from my house so I went ahead and bought my ticket to Blog U.

I then spent the next month trying to figure out how to get out of going because I was scared of meeting all these women who:
  • I really like (at least on Facebook) 
  • Look up to (in some cases, rabidly fan girl-style)
  • Feel like I know but I don't actually know.
  • What if they all meet me and are mean or they instantly dislike me and SHUN ME THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME?!
The last thing scared me the most. Because while I'm a blustering, garrulous, fool of an extrovert - I also have extremely low self-esteem and I'm convinced everyone hates me because I'm horrible. Now you know my secret. [Editor' note: Please stop talking about my friend Lydia this way. She is instantly, insanely lovable. --Guru Louise] But just when I was about to bail on the whole shebang, I found out that there was going to be a book signing for "I Just Want to Pee Alone" and I would get to sign books like a big, fancy person with all my Pee friends! In real life! Plus we'd all be at the same table so they'd have to sit with me at least for that one hour!

Here is some photo evidence of what happened at the book signing:

I saw Anna Luther from My Life and Kids and we monkey hugged. I started to relax.

Then I reenacted the nervous vomit moment from last year with Bethany (I Love Them Most When They're Sleeping) and Teri (Snarkfest)

Jen (People I Want to Punch in the Throat) and I posed together to create this charming scene. 

Then… this happened. 

This is Brenna from Suburban Snapshots. A women who is so funny on Twitter that I wonder if she isn't part witch. Because black magic is usually involved when someone is that funny. I mean, look at the black magic she used to edit this image into something so precious that it makes Prince's doves cry. 

The Friday night was good and magical and I started to relax a bit and even get excited about all the bloggy classes the following day. Then Mini spiked a really high fever and Hawk had a sudden death tournament game get scheduled for the next day, so I had to drive home. I made it back to BlogU for dinner and the prom. Those of you who have known me since High School are probably thinking: "So, she drove like 589 miles in rush hour to be there for the dancing and the cocktail party and whatever but totally skipped all the classes. YES. That sounds entirely accurate."

In my defense, I wanted to be there for the classes. I heard they were awesome and I've been begging the presenters to send me their power points ever since.

High school friends: "So she skipped class and now she's begging people for their notes. Again, sounds about right."

Go f*&k yourself, imaginary high school friend. I'm not like that anymore. Ok fine. I am a little.

WHATEVER. Let's talk about the prom. So NickMom sponsored a 80's themed Retro Prom. What?! I know. And I even had a dress in my closet that I had bought for $20 at TJ Maxx like 3 years ago because I was convinced that I might someday need it. I know the prom was supposed to be 80's retro (and my dress is more 50's housewife) but you try to find a cool 80's outfit in my size at the Thrift Store. It doesn't exist. Also, this was the day for TJ Maxx dress because I knew it would pair perfectly with my daughter's bump it. (Thank you to Frugie for her expert installation.)

Here's some photos from the prom, and you guys - it was in a gym. It felt very 16 Candles.

The beautiful Ilana from Mommy Shorts. You have no idea how great it was to finally meet her in person! We've been bloggy friends since we were both newbies! (I'm silently mouthing I LOVE YOU, ILANA from far away right away right now).

Then there was the magic of Papa Does Preach's blue tux. 

Then Jenny got to second and I was clearly horrified. Oh Jenny. Does this mean we're engaged? 
(Suburban Jungle with Jenny from the Blog, you guys. It's amazing.)

I mean, look at this outfit. It's Kathleen from Middletini in the hizzy.

And this precious angel is Jessica from Herd Management.
I had a great talk with Kathleen and Jessica at the prom and we're all best friends now.

Overall, the experience was so great and even though it was scary to show up and talk to people, it was so worth it. But having to drive home was really an issue for me. Because that's hours in the car, you guys. By myself. Soberly reflecting. On all the stupid things I said. On all the times I was trying to be funny and it came out wrong. I was convinced that I'd acted like the world's biggest asshole the whole time. It turns out it was way worse in my head than in real life, I mean - just look at these pictures!

So just in case you were wondering what it feels like to go to a prom when you're 41 years old… The answer is EXACTLY THE SAME AS IN HIGH SCHOOL. (Except for the sexual tension because there were only like 4 dudes there and 3 of them were working.)

There was a lot more ridiculousness. Just check out Instagram.

And if any of you ever decide to go to a Blog Conference, you should definitely go to this one. BlogU was filled goofy niceness, a desire to help and support each other, and lots of fun.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2014

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