Thursday, July 24, 2014

10 Ways You Know You're A Swim Parent


It's POOL WEEK here at Rants from Mommyland, as well as being the last week of swim team. In honor of that, I decided to type up 10 ways I know I'm a swim parent. Ready? Here we go!

1. "Eat my bubbles" is written on the back of my van in window paint. I don't even really know what that means, but let's be honest - it sounds really unsanitary. 


2. Setting that alarm clock for early morning practice just got easier and easier all season. BWAAA HAAA HAAA!! (wipes tear) That was a good one. 

3. I deal with towels. Like it's my job. In varying degrees of dampness. Always. 

4. Driving home from practice, I find myself saying (at least three times a week): "No, you may not have Chipoltle. Because. BECAUSE. Because it's ten in the morning and they don't open until eleven. GAH!"

5. You know what's not weird at all? 6 hours of swim meet for maybe 3 minutes of my kids actually swimming.

6. Am I at the pool every day? Oh yes. So maybe you think I get to swim all the time? Not really. The last time I was consistently in the water was in 2003.

7. Here's a little thunderstorm math: a 50% chance of thunderstorms = 0% chance of the meet getting preemptively cancelled times a 100% chance that I'll be sitting in the parking lot for two hours waiting to see what the officials decide to do.


We shall call this the "Please just cancel the meet" selfie.
It's one of a series because there were thunderstorms EVERY TIME.
8. I spend half the swim season looking as if I've just had an enormous pee pee accident. (This is due to one of my soaking wet kiddos needing a quick hug and hopping on my lap.) Either everyone on our team already knows this or they're fine with my perceived incontinence, because no one ever looks twice. 

9. Before the last meet, I got $40 out of the ATM, thinking there's NO WAY my kids can eat that much junk food at the snack bar. Silly rabbit, they can eat all junk food.

10. By the end of the swim season I am so ready for it to be over. But I also can't wait for next year.
This was what the pool looked like for the last 20 minutes of our last meet of the season.
And just like that I'm game for another summer. 

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2014

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8 comments:

  1. I have loved reading about swimming and being at the pool. Thank you for cracking me up!

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  2. Our Champs start this afternoon and I am feeling this list!!! Thanks for summing up our summer:)

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  3. I am not a swim parent but I get most of these to some degree and #10 hit me hard! Football season starts in 2 weeks and I am so excited for it! In 6 weeks when volleyball season starts up as well I will be excited to be back in the gym and in 8 weeks I will so be needing a break from bleachers and driving to practices and in 10 weeks I won't know if I want my kids' football teams to keep winning in playoffs or to lose just so it can be over! And then have the same emotional roller coaster just 4 weeks later with the volleyball teams!! But right now I cannot wait! :)

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  4. Don't forget the chlorine smell that will never.go.away. It permeates everything!

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  5. It's been ten years since our second child left summer and year round swimming. Every thing you said is spot on. I still miss it to this day. :)

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  6. I was the swim kid! Mine is not yet 2 and he loves loves loves the water :D Can't wait! (Yes I can) LOL

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  7. I love it!! You crack me up - and I totally feel your pain :). As a gymnastics mom, I drove 6 hours to our state finals with 'stick it, girls!!!' On my back window :) and it only took me 4 of those hours to figure out why I was getting such weird looks ;)

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