Thursday, September 4, 2014

Horrifying Conversations with Mini: Not ANYTHING

I was taking a late summer swim with Mini recently, when she said something horrifying. I was trying to encourage her to work on her backstroke and I was telling her all the fun things you could do while floating on your back and kicking your legs. 

But she was having none of it. She kept telling me that when you race backstroke at a swim meet, you could hit your head on the wall (which is of course very true). So she was never going to do that.


I wheedled and wheedled and told her how great she could be and how she could do absolutely anything if she just tried. She gave me a funny look, an appraising look.

She swam over to the wall and grasped it with one hand. She looked at me over shoulder. "I can't do anything," she said.

"Honey you really can you can do anything if you put your mind to it!" I said back to her, while treading water a few feet away. My voice was filled with exuberance and encouragement. "You can do whatever you set you mind to!"

"But not anything," she said.

"Yes anything!" I crowed "Anything at all!"

She shrugged, raised one eyebrow and said: "Not murder."

I began to stammer. "Well no, not... Not murder.  I guess we... But we don't -- The thing is...I'm sure you understand the... I want to say that..." Then I just stared at her small face and wondered what the hell was going on.

"So I can't do anything and I can't do backstroke today." And with that she got out of the pool.


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21 comments:

  1. The Force is strong with this one...

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  2. Oh mini. How does she even know what murder is? I wonder if my 7yo knows what it is.

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  3. She got you on that one. Absolutely genius!

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  4. Oh, my! She's right, though.

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  5. That is amazingly horrifying. I mean, way above usual Mini standards. You may need professional help someday!

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  6. Can Mini please come to my office and speak to my boss?

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  7. oh my....the things your cupcake comes up with lol

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  8. I hate when our kids are more clever than we are. So annoying.

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  9. Just be thankful she's on THAT side of the fence.

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  10. Love this. Hearing about Mini helps me to feel more normal about my own little Mini and occasional horrifying moments. Not sure if these things are a sign of greatness to come or a sign that we'll be spending a lot of money on therapy some day.

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  11. OMG - when she is a teenager you will be is sooooo mucccch trouble!

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  12. I love the way her mind works. She has such an interesting view of things.

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  13. OMG! I swear my niece is Mini's twin. She is the same age and is just creepy sometimes. She was staring at her Mom's eyes a few months ago. Just nose to nose, straight in to her eyes. She was amazed that she could see her reflection. Then she got really quiet and whispered "I just stole your soul", then skipped away smiling. Every once in a while, we think that she and Mini should meet but who knows what would happen then! :)

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    1. Holy crap. That is awesome. I just snorted white wine up my nose.

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    2. This needs to be entered on one of those "The Creepiest Things Your Kid Has Ever Said" sites. That is terrifying!!! LMAO

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  14. She's got a point, there. Sounds like my daughter. She will argue any point.

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  15. Crying with laughter!! She certainly told you! BWAH HA HA HA!-The Dose Girls

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  16. This reminds me of the English TV series 'Outnumbered'. So funny, but simultaneously HORRIFYING.

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  17. I can't decide if I like this or the singing Jesus songs in a demon voice more...
    Also, the appropriate (or maybe not so much) reaction to this is "why yes Mini, I am quite convinced (no really remember the sharp stick) that if you set your mind to it you could murder. However, my little demon cupcake, that doesn't mean it is something you should do. You should do the backstroke though, it will improve your swimming"

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  18. I love the way her mind works. She has such an interesting view of things.

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