Thursday, January 8, 2015

Happy New Year!

Happy new year everybody! This is a note explaining why the blog is going to be a little bit different moving forward. First off, I think I'm going to be losing a whole lot of you due to some changes at Facebook. Starting in this month (January 2015), they will begin charging pages for sharing their content. Since maybe 90% of my readers get here through Facebook, that's going to be a pretty big change.

The second thing is that I've really been struggling over the last year with how to write about my kids now that they're older. The bottom line is this, my kids are no longer at an age where it's cool for me to joke about them being little terror suspects anymore. I've written some pretty good stuff in the past few months but sadly, I don't think I can publish any of it. My kids would be embarrassed if the people that they know in real life (their classmates, or their friends' parents, or even their teachers) were to know such sweet, silly, or personal details. 



I spent some time talking to them over the holidays about how they feel about me blogging about our family. We discussed me quitting altogether and to my surprise, they thought that was a terrible idea. But we all agreed that we did not regret the choices that we'd made as a family to keep some things private.

When I started this blog with Kate five years ago, everything was different. I had never even read a blog before I started writing one. 
The only thing that Kate and I were ever really trying to do with Rants From MommyLand was to make ourselves, and maybe other people, feel better about the realities of being a parent. [Editor's note: I speak for tens of thousands of us who can tell you: mission accomplished. And thank you. xo -Guru] We also wanted to make sure that when the kids looked back and read the things we'd written in 10 years, that they would know that it was hard sometimes, but they would also know how much they were loved.

One of the unexpected gifts this blog has given me are the captured moments that might have otherwise been lost. And while this might sound morbid, I feel like if I were to die tomorrow, my kids would have a sense of who I was. I'm not trying to be melodramatic in saying that. My family has lost two mothers in the past 10 years and I've watched their children finish growing up without them. I helped raise one of them. Maybe that's why all of my favorite blog posts are those that capture us as a family at a particular moment.

In taking the time to consider what direction (if any) the blog should take moving forward, I kept coming back to that. What if Rants from Mommyland was just a very personal collection of snapshots of our weird, dysfunctional (and yet still pretty awesome) little family? What if I focused on those things that I was scared might be lost with time? What if I tried to write about the things I would want the kids to know if I died tomorrow?

That felt right. The more I thought about it, the idea that the blog would get smaller felt right, too. I'm contracted to do some sponsored writing in the coming year. I also have some pieces scheduled to be published in Parents Magazine (IN ACTUAL PRINT - WHAT?!) and in a humor anthology. But aside from that, Mommyland is going to be smaller and more personal. I should be publishing more stuff and it will probably all be stupid.


Thank you, sincerely, for reading this blog and being my friend on Facebook and for... everything

Julie

PS: That's the other thing. I'm not going to be Lydia anymore. It's just dumb. You all know I'm Julie. 

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2014

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34 comments:

  1. Personally, I'm so glad that you started this blog. While I was nursing my kid in the middle of the night for hours upon hours, reading your archive brought me so much comfort. I was truly honored that I was able to guest post for your blog. I look forward to reading whatever you do next.

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  2. I'll still be here. Thanks Lydia/Julie.

    Can I call you Jules?

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  3. You threw me with "Julie". :) I will be here reading.

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  4. Julie

    I've been reading your blog since 2005. I think I've been in the blur since then. I remember ralphing in Ralph's and 5 guys. You made me realize my own devil cupcake is normal. I remember the drunk octopuses. And I will still be here. Love your fellow boobstain.

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  5. From one Julie to another, I look forward to your new direction!

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  6. You are stuck in my blogger feed forevah! Us Julie's have to stick together...I love what you do, no matter how you do it.

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  7. Julie? How do I know you're not some old Russian man with candy in his pants?
    :)

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  8. I'm still here. I'm old and read your blog via feedly anyway. I didn't even think to "like" your facebook page until just now (done! I feel accomplished for the day). As a new mom, your posts give me so much to look forward to...and make me fear for my life over the next decade. Also, how long can I use the "new mom" title. I just realized I've been saying that for over a year now. Screw it. I'm going with it. Should you need new stories about indoor homeless people (love.that.phrase), I can probably help out for the next 5-7 years!

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  9. I'm still here. I'm old and read your blog via feedly anyway. I didn't even think to "like" your facebook page until just now (done! I feel accomplished for the day). As a new mom, your posts give me so much to look forward to...and make me fear for my life over the next decade. Also, how long can I use the "new mom" title. I just realized I've been saying that for over a year now. Screw it. I'm going with it. Should you need new stories about indoor homeless people (love.that.phrase), I can probably help out for the next 5-7 years!

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  10. I didn't know you were Julie! Love your blog. I have laughed out loud many times, sitting in the darkness, startling the baby.

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  11. Thanks for letting us share all the ups and downs with you! You made me feel less crazy when my oldest was a baby.

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  12. I love your blog and will continue to follow you (through Bloglovin). Mission accomplished, indeed.

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  13. Whew! I'm so happy that this post didn't end with "So long, suckas!!" as you rode off into the sunset. Because I would miss you. Thanks for the years of wonderful relatable writing and I look forward to whatever comes next.

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  14. I don't have anything special to say except, thanks for keeping it going! We love to hear from you! (And know we are all dealing with the same BS)

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  15. I will keep reading. I love dropping in to see what you have to share from time to time. I truly admire you for stopping to consider your children's feelings now that they are older. You already said that you are making the right move for your family but I wanted to say thank you for sharing that.

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  16. If it makes you feel any better- Your statuses and posts always show up in my newsfeed. I think Ive actually seen more this January than I used to. Facebook isn't charging for them to show up at all, you just will (supposedly) be in people's news feeds less if you don't post very often or you don't pay (I'm having the same issues with my blog). Like I said though, you're still showing up in mine.
    Also, I really think you should compile old posts and publish a book like The Bloggess did. Seriously, I would be first in line to buy it.

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  17. <3 This place made me feel normal when I thought I was failing as a new mama. My little girl will be 5 in a couple of months, and I found ya'll when she was only a couple of months old. Ya'll will forever hold a place in my crazy mama heart. Whenever anyone asks me for the best blog for a new mom, I always have and always will point them here. =) Go out and be great!

    ps-If this comes through twice, blame the interwebz for making me think it ate my previous attempt. =)

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  18. Love you and what you've done. You've provided sanity and laughter when it's been most needed. You have to do what you have to do. I'm glad that you will be continuing.

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  19. You and Kate helped get me through some awful post-partum depression, then through an awful breakup and divorce. The Domestic Enemies series rocks, and I was very proud to be a Helping Hooker. You guys are awesomesauce, and I thank you for putting yourselves out there. You mean a whole lot to a whole lot of people, and we are all sending you uncomfortably long virtual hugs. (ps: Mini's Island of Misnamed Toys is the best thing on the internet.) (pps: do you guys still tap-dance??)

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  20. I think I am not the only one who can say that this blog may have saved them from... something... I started reading in the throws of a post-partum depression and the feeling that everyone else was much much better at parenting than I. This kept me from sinking deeper, and buoyed me up. Just knowing that I WASN'T THE ONLY NON-PERFECT (well, okay, completely screwed-up) PARENT kept me going. Being able to laugh at the complete absurdity of the situation known as parenting and knowing I laughed with others pulled me out of PPD.

    I referred so many other moms who needed it to your blog. I know you helped them too.

    As our kids get older, the stakes seem to be getting higher. And with that, our feeling of doing things not-quite-right intensifies. While I totally respect your need to protect your kids (don't we all!), I hope you can still write a bit about the sublime moments off imperfection in parenting that we all share.

    Thank you so much for saving me, Julia.

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  21. From one Juli to another... I've been reading since the blur started for me years and years ago. You helped me through it. Thank you. I'm so glad you'll still be around.

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  22. I found your blog while nursing my baby in the middle of the night. It made me laugh through the months of sleep deprivation. Thanks for sharing your stories.

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  23. my favorite random memory of your blog is when mini stood at the foot of your bed, holding a camera, saying she took photos of you sleeping every night. SO CREEPY/HILARIOUS.

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  24. I rarely ever post. But I'll post today. I found you eons ago when my first was small. When I needed you and Kate to make me laugh. We were helped by hookers at Christmas when my husband was between jobs and I was scared. I was able to pay it forward to a couple Mom's here the next Mother's Day. I drew eyes on a drunk octopus and sent in the picture. You are my spirit animal. I wanted to blog because of you. I wanted to be funny because of you. I am also quitting, for the same reason. My youngest is going to Kindergarten now after preschool and we're moving from the BLUR to the SWEET SPOT. And I don't want to miss any bit of that sweet spot. So I'm going for it. And I'm staying right here, until you make me leave. I will always think of you as Lydia Coupon :D This post was worthy of a drop mic, just so you know <3

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  25. This is what blogging is all about Julie! Documenting your life so you don't forget the little things and bittersweet moments. The fact that you are so awesome you attracted a billion people is just a bonus!

    I will read anything you have to say, even if it's just about a trip to the grocery store!

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  26. This makes me happy! I actually stopped following as closely because after kate left, it felt like the blog became more corporate (all the guest bloggers) and it lost its personal touch...but i still checked bsck from time to time....now I'll be back!

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  27. Sounds good to me. I think we all have to stop & take stock ever once in a while. Things change, life changes and we have to see what works for us now.

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  28. Julie-- Love this and completely understand. This was the direction my blog was taking right before Jack's accident b/c the kids were getting older, then of course it became about grief. Not sure what's next, but I know you'll be there for me and I'll be here for you! Thank you for your awesome blog!

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  29. I will definitely keep reading! I can't remember how I found you, but it was not through Facebook. Love your writing and your heart!

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  30. What a big phat courageous decision! I too struggle with what to share (no matter how sweet or funny) about our children, especially my now nearly teenage daughter. I commend you for being willing to sit in that scary, uncertain place until you came up with an answer that felt right. Rock on Mama.
    Rants was the first blog I ever read. I'd never even heard of blogs before you guys. But then, there you were right when I needed you, right as my family grew from 2 kids to 3, and then to 5. I read your posts about the stink in the Big White Tampon and felt better that I could NEVER seem to keep my car clean for 15 minutes. I read about you hurling in 5 Guys and felt better about puking on strangers in the subway while pregnant. I read about... whatever... and just generally felt better. It was nice to know that my only alternatives were NOT drink myself into oblivion thinking about what a total fail I was at mommyhood, or pretend everything was Mickey Mouse and Gymboree. There was a third option: tell the truth, laugh about it, and learn to love the absurdity. Thank you!
    I've been lurking in the shadows for 5 years (I'm not much of a joiner) but I'm gonna subscribe right now!
    Rant on Julie!

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  31. Thank you for continuing to share. Your work is uplifting to so many!

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  32. I'm new here and after reading this post I shall return! My oldest is young but she is also starting to get embarrassed when I tell people about her adorable stories, so I totally understand where you're coming from. Do what you feel is the right direction for you, I look forward to seeing what you post next :)

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  33. I don't have social media but I discovered your blog sometime while my littlest was nursing. Like all good comedy, your writing is both hilarious and poignant. Keep it up!

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