Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Horrifying School Projects with Mini: The Snow Globe

As many of you know, Mini is now a big girl who goes to kindergarten. The kids in her class are precious and adorable and kind. Her wonderful teachers have made me love them so much that I may marry them. She is learning many interesting things. She has however developed a very tedious habit of questioning everything I tell her, raising one eyebrow and looking skeptical. Then she surreptitiously tests the things I tell her to see if they're true. All of this serves as a backdrop to this story.

I went to go pick her up a little early today and noticed that each of the children in her class had completed a lovely project called "If I were Trapped in a Snowglobe with my Buddy". The results of these projects were proudly displayed in the hallway, where everyone could admire them. There was a picture of each child and their buddy under a clear plastic plate, with white stuff around the edges to make it appear that they were happy creatures inside a snow globe. Underneath the photo, they were supposed to write what they would do while trapped in the snow globe with their buddy. Most of the responses were really sweet. They said things like: "We would make snow angels!" or "I would go sledding with my buddy!"

But not Mini. Of course not. Here is what she wrote:

It says: "If I was stuck in a snow globe with my buddy, I would get a hammer and crush the glass. Then, we would be free."

I think it might actually be the perfect response.

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  1. should be under labels: awesome, hero, amazing, and LOL!

  2. Not to lessen the hilarity of her response, but can we take a moment and talk about her spelling and handwriting skills as a kindergartener?? Can she please come and be a guest teacher in my 1st grade classroom?!

  3. Mini definitely will NOT need a handsome prince to swoop in and save her - she's got it covered!

  4. At the end of last year, my oldest was finishing 1st grade. He had an amazing teacher, who was kind, and patient, and she 'got' him. She had raised a son quite like him, with his tender soul, and his ability to hyper focus so far that he couldn't hear the outside world, and also his brilliance. He is also QUITE literal. They were asked to write a journal entry for what they would do over the summer break. He had many goals, most of which included Minecraft and swimming. Near the bottom, in his excellent handwriting and 1st grade punctuation, was this lofty goal. "To read on the toilet". I still giggle every time I think of it. I've saved it. I also posted it to my facebook page because I'm shameless.

  5. So...my oldest (Midnight, so called because of her love of BLACK since the age of TWO!)...when she was in 2nd grade, the writing prompt was "What is your favorite animal and why?" And she wrote, "My favorite animal is the wolf because it eats everyone else's favorite animal." Also that year, they did an "All ABout Me" page...a large sheet of paper with open ended questions and spaces for a drawing. "My favorite place to visit..." and while all the other little squeaks were filling in "Disneyland" or "Grandma's House", Midnight fills it in with "The Boston Graveyards" and a crayon drawing of headstones, large and small. I should have known though...one the very first day of Kinder, when the other kids are introducing themselves with things like "My favorite color is pink" or "My favorite show is Spongebob", Midnight, clad in black a la Wednesday Addams, says, "We had a cat and a dog, but they died." I think I love Mini.

  6. Obviously. Getting stuck in a snow globe sounds terrifying! She clearly needs this shirt (when they get around to reprinting it): http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/bad7/?srp=3

  7. YES! My son just brought this exact project home, complete with a picture of him stuck in his snow globe! His response was quite similar actually, although he decided to forego the hammer; instead, he was going to use his fists to beat on the glass. I believe we are raising logical, pragmatic children. This is what I tell myself....

  8. I just found your blog and I'm cracking up! Thanks for the laughs :)

  9. This reminded me of my daughter's kindergarten gem: "If I found a leprechaun, I would... skwihs it throw it in the trash and barry it in the ground. Becuos there weird and they look weird." Happy St Patrick's Day!




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