Monday, February 2, 2015

I Have Said All These Things in The Past Two Hours Because Today Is Not My Best Day

Today is not my best day. I'm super tired which means I'm also grouchy. I'm slightly resentful that I have picked up the same Littlest Pet Shop toy at least five times. I love my kids so much but I need their help and I'm not getting it. Today is icy and cold and grey and they would rather stay in jammies and play or watch TV or snuggle up on the couch and mess around on the iPad. Guess what, hot shots?! ME TOO. But instead I get to pick up hundreds of crusty, inside-out kid socks and thousands of hair elastics and then unload the dishwasher. 



Here are some of the things I've said this afternoon and I'm not proud of myself. Today is not my best day.

  • I am not your maid, so please pick that up. 
  • COME ON. Moving it from the floor to the stairs is not "picking it up". 
  • How many times should I have to ask you? One time. I should only have to ask one time.
  • Dear GOD, who pooped? When did you eat cabbage? LORD. Turn the fan on.
  • Please turn off the TV as soon as this show is over. (Five minutes later) Is the show over? WHY DID YOU START A NEW SHOW? 
  • I only used my mean voice because it's like you can't hear my nice voice.
  • WHO PUT A FULL JUICE BOX IN THE BATHROOM TRASH? (whimper) Apple juice is everywhere. I really hope it's apple juice.
  • For the love?! This is why we can never find any sharpened pencils. Because they're all under the coffee table. 
  • Did you attack your brother? Then why did he run screaming from you?
  • How is it you can ride Space Mountain in the dark but you can't be alone upstairs? 
  • Either you pick up this room or I'll pick it up with a hefty bag.
  • What do you mean you want to take a break? YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.
  • You're not hungry, you're bored. If you were hungry, you'd eat fruit. 
  • If I say that I can't hear you, then you need to come find me rather than just saying the same thing again twelve times and then getting mad. 
  • WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE NICE TO EACH OTHER?! GAHHHHH!!!!!
  • I love you, too. I'm sorry I yelled. 
  • That's a good idea. Let's listen to Uptown Funk really loud and clean it up together.

Isn't that sweet? How our awful afternoon resolved itself with the help of Bruno Mars and some thumping bass? Yes! It all worked out really well (for about forty five minutes). Because that's real life and it was just one of those days.

Today will be better, though. 

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