Thursday, March 26, 2015

I poop glitter.

I was walking through the Wal Marts yesterday and I saw this little beauty on clearance. Before I even knew what I was doing, I had whipped out my phone and taken a picture of it. About 30 things were running through my head simultaneously:
  • No, it does not really say that. 
  • If I don't take a picture then no one will believe that this is real.
  • I would buy it but nothing that poops glitter is coming inside my house.
  • Cleaning up regular glitter is a goddamn nightmare, so poop glitter probably takes all day.
  • The only way that you can poop glitter is if you eat glitter and if that rabbit is eating enough glitter that it becomes his primary marketable characteristic, then he's an idiot.
  • That doll looks vapid and vaguely medicated, like she doesn't even realize it's a rabbit on the end of the leash and not some small breed of large-eared dog. 
  • She looks like the kind of asshole who would buy a glitter-egg pooping bunny for Easter then abandon it at a kill shelter before the first of May. 

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

I'm a HUGE nerd who loves my job

I show this version of Maslow's Hierarchy every semester.
So some of you may know that I teach undergrads at a college that I could never have gotten into myself because I made bad choices in high school. I haven't written much about it here, maybe because it's my real job and worlds colliding and all that.

I teach Public Health. The class I teach is a great fit for me because it's a survey course, which means we cover hundreds of years and topics in one semester. As a result, the course content is (as my dad would say somewhat derisively) a mile wide and an inch deep.

By now you know that I'm also a big dork who dearly loves things like Totoro and Korra and Marvel and Harry Potter and too many other geekish things to list here. But I love Public Health the most. Oh my gosh, you guys. I want to talk about drug resistant gonorrhea all the time. Did you know that many of the US-funded Ebola treatment centers in west Africa have never treated a single patient?? Social determinants of health are my jam, you guys.

Popular Posts