Friday, December 11, 2015

So You Don't Believe in Santa

Here is a helpful holiday tip so that people won't hate you.
I'd like to clarify something about the holidays. Let's say your child has decided that Santa Claus is not real and you've discussed it and everyone at your house is all on the same page. That's great! Seriously. Good for you. But if you're having these conversations, there is one crucial element that I am literally begging you to include in the discussion. Ready?

THE FIRST RULE OF DECIDING THAT SANTA IS NOT REAL IS KEEPING THAT INFORMATION TO YOUR DAMN SELF. It's like Fight Club. You don't talk about it. Everyone knows that rule, don't act like it's a surprise. You can talk about how you don't believe in magic and awesomeness and whatever else when you're with your friends at the fight club, ok? But when you're in the first grade lunch room or at the bus stop with a bunch of pre-schoolers playing and happily chattering about Christmas, that's not cool and you need to quit it.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Holiday Responsibly - No Excuses For Not Being a PITA

As many of you know, I'm part of's blogger team this year and for December, they've asked us to look over some of their survey data about drunk driving and respond to it. The holidays mean parties, getting together with friends and more social occasions on the calendar than we normally have. Having a drink at a party is part of the fun for me - but I don't always do it. First of all, I'm prone to making an ass of myself in public under the best circumstances. Second, I am terrified of not being fine behind the wheel. If I have to drive home, I will rarely drink and if I do - I usually stop at one.

I know my body pretty well but for some reason, when I'm out and about, alcohol can sometimes affect me differently. Sometimes, I'll have two drinks at dinner and feel completely fine. Other times, I'll have two drinks and be ready to table dance. Don't believe me? Last weekend, I attended a wedding. My husband was the driver so I had three glasses of cabernet and ended up thinking it was a great idea to do The Wobble with all the young people. This sort of makes sense when you consider that according to's survey data, 63% of Americans don't know what the legal limit is for BAC (blood alcohol concentration - and it's .08).*

*Sadly, there is no legal limit for middle-aged white people doing The Wobble. 

That means that the majority of us don't know what our limits are. And we're out there this month, celebrating with friends and family, and then getting in our cars. Let that sink in.

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