Tuesday, February 23, 2016

The ADD Mom Prayer


I recently wrote about my efforts to become more mindful, calm, and focused and how my broken squirrel brain rejects these efforts. It decides instead that I should re-live awkward conversations from high school and hyperventilate about the possibility of sex offenders circumventing our school district's hiring policies. Thank you, brain. 

The comments on Facebook made me feel a lot better, though, like I wasn't the only one. A lot of people mentioned that this happens to them every night as they try to fall asleep, or as they accidentally shampoo their hair 3 times in the shower, or even when they're trying to pray. That last one is my favorite because the exact same thing happens to me and I'm pretty sure it's annoying Jesus. So please let me share with you what I am now referring to as the "The ADD Mom Prayer"


Dear Heavenly Father, 
Thank you for all of my blessings and let me always endeavor to be -- WHICH ONE OF YOU IS OUT OF BED?   
Let me always strive to be worthy of and grateful for these blessings. YOU GUYS, WHY DO I HEAR MINECRAFT?
Help me to be mindful of the needs of others and how I can serve those in need and... I forgot to take the recycling to the curb and the truck comes at the crack of crack so I need to go do it now. Ugh, it's raining. 
Please watch over this family and keep them safe and healthy because if anything happened to these kids... In fact, please protect all the kids everywhere because DOG, STOP LICKING ME.
Please bring my husband safely home from this trip because we need him and love him and wait when do we have to do our taxes? It has to be soon. What's today's date? Where did I put the W-2's? Crap. Sorry sorry sorry.   
God bless all our military families, the refugees, the homeless and the hungry, and any child in danger tonight. Comfort and protect them. And send blessings to all those who are working hard to do good in the FOR THE LOVE OF PETE WHY ARE YOU OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW?
Seriously Lord, help me to be kinder and more patient and less prone to squawking at these people in my house because I love them so much and maybe if I acted better, so would they. 
In conclusion, God, I am sorry that I am horrible at praying but thank you so much for everything and I promise to do all I can to raise these kids right and help people as much as I can and never forget that -- I think I better check to see if I locked the back door before I came upstairs.
Amen
(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2016

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6 comments:

  1. I had to stop reading in the middle of this and log into my email and look for the 1099 from my retirement accounts. Thanks for the reminder! At least Jesus is patient, right?

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  2. I was editing my blog post when I suddenly found myself reading your post and thanked God that I was not alone with my ADD.

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  3. Hahahahaha!!! I am all alone in my house right now (except for the panting and licking dog), and I'm just cackling like a fiend! Oh my gosh, I do this every night, and then I fall asleep. Oh, I hope God gets as good a chuckle out of this as I did! :)

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