Wednesday, October 26, 2016

When it's not about the kids, it's about the parents.

I don’t know how it happened but I’m the mother of a teenager. It occurs to me that I only have five years left to teach her everything she needs to know to survive on her own. That’s scary as hell given that my 11 year old recently informed me he has no idea what a fitted sheet is.

This has all led me to acknowledge that I might have an over-parenting problem. The older my kids get, the worse I become. It’s not just changing their sheets. I feel the urge to insert myself into situations that I know I should stay out of. I see it in other parents too; on the ball field, on social media, at Back to School night. It’s endemic. I see kids looking to their parents to solve their problems and adults making things worse by jumping in. And every time I see it happen, I think the same thing:

This isn't about the kids, it’s about the parents.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The Elementary School Book Fair

Guess what? These aren't books.
So no, you may not buy them.
Our elementary school hosted it's annual book fair last week. That means I received a "wish list" brought home by child #3, requesting things that were either:

(a) not books, or
(b) books that are not even close to her reading level but feature puppies, or
(c) pens that don't work, or
(d) weird pointy sticks with fingers at the top.

In this case, it was all of the above. I said no and made her books. Correct me if I'm wrong but the purpose of a book fair is to purchase items intended for actual reading, yes?

Apparently, I am mistaken. I think the real purpose is to raise much-needed funds for the school, something I can totally get behind. But dear Lord Baby Jesus, I do not need more crap in my house so my children will buy books or they will buy nothing.

My son called me from school last week, freaking out that he forgot to ask me for money and begging me to drop some off so he could buy stuff during his class' designated shopping time. When I mentioned this on the Rants' Facebook wall, your responses killed me with how funny they were, so I made this meme:

Monday, October 17, 2016

I want to wear a big headband and be cool but I just can't.

So I made this meme today because if anyone in the world needs the ability to pull off one of these big headbands on an "I didn't have time to shower but I still want to look like an actual adult female" day, it's me. I see other women about my age (I'm looking at you, Jen Hatmaker) looking all easy, breezy, beautiful with their long, flowing hair and their effortlessly faded jeans and their boots that fit their calves and their big headbands. They look awesome. I want to be easy and breezy, too. BUT OMG NO I JUST CAN'T. I look ridiculous. A big headband makes me look like I don't have a neck. It makes my head look much, much smaller. Like the math on that doesn't work. A big headband actually makes my head look 72% smaller. How is that possible?

Anyway, I have tried to make this work and it just doesn't and I resent it. That's all.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2016

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