Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Things My Husband Says About My Ice Cold Hands

You know it's winter when my husband, the cranky but adorable Cap'n Coupon, starts complaining about how cold my hands are all the time*. Here's a list of unkind things my husband has told me about my ice cold hands.
  • Are you a Frost Giant?
  • Your fingers feel like hot dogs right out of the fridge.
  • Yes, you woke me up. It’s like sleeping with a White Walker.
  • If you touched liquid nitrogen, you’d make it COLDER.
  • Cadaver hands! Gah!
  • A yeti would shiver and yelp if you touched his neck like that.
  • Your hands are so cold I would assume they were Canadian, except they’re very rude.
  • Put your gloves back on, Elsa. 
  • You should get a job as a snow cone vendor.
  • It’s like you plucked a lobster from the icy waters of Maine and then tried to hold my hand.
  • Good lord, were you just touching tundra?
  • That’s not snuggling. That’s assaulting me with Siberian dagger hands.
  • How are your hands so cold and clammy? Do you live in Gollum’s cave?

*He especially objects to me trying to warm my hands on him while he's sleeping. Unreasonable.

(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2016

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6 comments:

  1. My ex would use her frozen feet on my thighs as a signal for possible intimacy. And giggle while doing it.

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  2. I made the mistake of reading this out loud to my sweetie, and he said he'd have to remember a few of the things on this list. *sigh* White walker indeed

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  3. That's funny, your husband has a good sense of humour. And my husband always says in such a case that I have frog's hands :)

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  4. My beau tries to giggle me with his cold hands on my neck and that annoys me a lot.

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  5. This is hilarious! My husband and I got such a kick out of these

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  6. I haven't got married. however, I still read this article. Maybe, I will get lessons.

    ReplyDelete

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