You know it's winter when my husband, the cranky but adorable Cap'n Coupon, starts complaining about how cold my hands are all the time*. Here's a list of unkind things my husband has told me about my ice cold hands.
- Are you a Frost Giant?
- Your fingers feel like hot dogs right out of the fridge.
- Yes, you woke me up. It’s like sleeping with a White Walker.
- If you touched liquid nitrogen, you’d make it COLDER.
- Cadaver hands! Gah!
- A yeti would shiver and yelp if you touched his neck like that.
- Your hands are so cold I would assume they were Canadian, except they’re very rude.
- Put your gloves back on, Elsa.
- You should get a job as a snow cone vendor.
- It’s like you plucked a lobster from the icy waters of Maine and then tried to hold my hand.
- Good lord, were you just touching tundra?
- That’s not snuggling. That’s assaulting me with Siberian dagger hands.
- How are your hands so cold and clammy? Do you live in Gollum’s cave?
*He especially objects to me trying to warm my hands on him while he's sleeping. Unreasonable.
(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2016
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest. Better yet - subscribe! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.
My ex would use her frozen feet on my thighs as a signal for possible intimacy. And giggle while doing it.
ReplyDeleteI made the mistake of reading this out loud to my sweetie, and he said he'd have to remember a few of the things on this list. *sigh* White walker indeed
ReplyDeleteThat's funny, your husband has a good sense of humour. And my husband always says in such a case that I have frog's hands :)
ReplyDeleteMy beau tries to giggle me with his cold hands on my neck and that annoys me a lot.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! My husband and I got such a kick out of these
ReplyDeleteI haven't got married. however, I still read this article. Maybe, I will get lessons.
ReplyDelete