Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Twas the Voicemail before Thanksgiving

OMG. So apparently, every time I leave my husband a voicemail at work, his office's phone system transcribes my message. And he just told me today that this so called "system" actually makes me sound insane every single time. No one else. Just me. 
I was like "What the hell are you talking about?"
And he read me the transcription of the message I left this morning. 
Just to put this all in context, that is not what I said. I called him as I was leaving Target, where I tried unsuccessfully to pick up some last minute items he'd told me that we needed. That makes me a nice person because it's the day before Thanksgiving and that place is a shit show.
Here's the transcript. The first sentence is pretty accurate but after that... It's like his voicemail is trying to make me sound borderline demented. And I mean - SCREW YOU, VOICEMAIL TRANSCRIPTION. I have three kids and it's the holidays. I can look crazy without your help. 
"It's Julie, I'm I was not able to find all the stuff that you texted me this morning. So I'm just gonna do the best they can, Korea. I'm one of the things that I was going to do. It's me stock. It's for you to cook with because the stuff that I could be stopping you could drink, but I don't get a chicken salad mixed chocolate. So I was just gonna cut the crap out of it and the pressure cooker and make it really gets back and you can either drink that or you can use it for cooking. Hopefully it will make you feel better. I'm running. Please go to come in and I'm going to go anyway for an hour or so to volunteer to pot luck and then. We should be home about I don't know too. Okay. Let me back."

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