Saturday, July 13, 2019

Driving Home from Maine

Our dinner. Pulled out of the water by my brother in law
who is a Lobsterman. So basically, totally worth
14.5 hours in a fart van.
It's hour 12 of the long drive home from Maine. 

The van smells like socks and Doritos and I’m having one-sided conversations with Alexa* every time my kids start getting on my nerves. 

“Alexa, please tell the children to stop making mouth sounds.”

“Alexa, please let me sleep. I can’t take anymore.”

“Alexa, did one of them fart or is that just what this part of New Jersey smells like?”

“Alexa, make them stop fighting about where to put their feet.”


*I don’t even know how Alexa works and I have no devices that respond to that name which my children have repeatedly pointed out and that is not even relevant because I’m merely reaching out to the universe for help and calling her Alexa and she is not answering. Rude. 
(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019

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