Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Raise your hand if you're a life-ruining monster

This beautiful lady is raising both hands, with a terrific smile, because she's ruined TWO KIDS' lives by making them do homework and keeping them safe, healthy and fed - all while working her ass off and homeschooling them, trapped in the house for months on end during a divisive and terrifying election season and a global pandemic. What an asshole!

Hello friends. 

Raise your hand if you personally have ruined your child's life by making them (choose all that apply):
  • Attend in-person school
  • Attend school via distance learning
  • Cruelly make them social distance/stay home of because of a deadly global pandemic
  • Force them to leave the house/deal with other people because your area is out of code red or whatever
  • Try to manage whatever this shitshow of a year has thrown at your family
Go ahead and put that hand down.
I've recently been informed that it's all my fault and all my doing, so you guys can rest easy. I'm the asshole here.
Kind of exciting to find out that I'm some sort of all-powerful omniscient deity that can like - cause global pandemics and million-acre wildfires and stuff. Good to know. And here I was feeling bad about myself because I can't get the laundry done. HA HA HA PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS BUSY RUINING EVERYONE'S LIFE BY MAKING THEM EAT VEGETABLES AND GO TO BED ON TIME.
(wipes tear)
Kids are fun.

Love, Julie

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