tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37448579650377456572024-03-09T00:26:56.283-05:00RANTS FROM MOMMYLANDFor the Love of God, Let Me Pee Alone:
Celebrating the joys of motherhood.Guru Louisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10775521852206315002noreply@blogger.comBlogger149125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-40988232342563100412021-01-03T09:20:00.000-05:002023-02-14T12:23:31.548-05:00Putting A Pin in It<div>Hello friends,<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMnohhqKpSv8ayEBLI4Im274oSsumpvV2o9Om_wy2kmsIuOnaYtFLOZl0-0ku-sfGoQKvj8rMWmwlzGloigkPy0IcG-tVpSj3nFpXxbr0tNZnWktACiAxXUelFWUuqtYq9wL8GgM40lkr_lzvwB6FLAxfHhCIreLbONziYwN-t_CA57LrW06Q-ZT4peg/s2358/IMG_1620.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2358" data-original-width="2310" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMnohhqKpSv8ayEBLI4Im274oSsumpvV2o9Om_wy2kmsIuOnaYtFLOZl0-0ku-sfGoQKvj8rMWmwlzGloigkPy0IcG-tVpSj3nFpXxbr0tNZnWktACiAxXUelFWUuqtYq9wL8GgM40lkr_lzvwB6FLAxfHhCIreLbONziYwN-t_CA57LrW06Q-ZT4peg/s320/IMG_1620.jpeg" width="313" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Rants from Mommyland is still here, but functions primarily as an archive for old posts and information about me and the various things I've written. If you need to reach me, the best way to get a response is probably via email (see the contact us section) or by DM'ing me on Instagram. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As a quick update:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I'm not accepting advertising or PR pitches for this site.</li><li>I rarely work with sponsors or brands, unless it's a remarkably good fit or for a really good cause.</li><li>I never accept third party offers to backlink, add posts/articles, etc.</li><li>I don't provide access to my social feeds for partnerships, so please don't ask.</li><li>I don't provide support for individual fundraising efforts.</li></ul><div>xoxo,</div><div>Julie</div></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2023</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-23971453051883002962020-10-15T16:58:00.000-04:002020-10-15T16:58:06.996-04:00A Eulogy for the Tooth Fairy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kDnTIM621IQ/X4i24LI61xI/AAAAAAAAN3s/rsD_ZfnJuTU8lwp8naIglNmU_NNiBLDDgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/tooth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kDnTIM621IQ/X4i24LI61xI/AAAAAAAAN3s/rsD_ZfnJuTU8lwp8naIglNmU_NNiBLDDgCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h266/tooth.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><i><span style="color: #666666;"><b>Note: </b>I found this post deep in my drafts folder today. It's never been published before. I wrote this six years ago, about the daughter who is now a senior in high school. I'm fine. It's fine. I just need to cry it out.</span></i><div><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><i>--------------------------------------------<br /></i></span></span><div><br /></div><div>Last night, my oldest child lost her last baby tooth. It showed me everything I needed to know about who she is right now. In spite of knowing the truth about the Tooth Fairy (<i>sort of),</i> she wrote her a note to say goodbye, and thank you.<br />
<br />
I say that she "sort of" knows about the Tooth Fairy because while I suspect she is aware of the truth, she hasn't talked about it. Perhaps because she knows once the gig is up, the dollars-for-teeth exchange will end and she dearly loves dollars. And certainly, other sixth graders would not hesitate to enlighten her on the true nature of the mythical, gift-giving characters she has grown up loving. They probably already have. But there's more to it than that. I think she wants to believe because she knows, at least for a little while longer, that she still can.<br />
<br />
She avoids discussing any of this with me. Ostensibly because of her little brother and sister and the happiness they derive from it, but also because she's aware that there is power in not saying some things out loud. I think she stays silent because she knows that once it's openly acknowledged - it becomes real. An immutable fact. If she says it out loud, a beloved part of her childhood will truly be over. She isn't ready for that. Neither am I.<br />
<br />
But we both know it's coming.<span><a name='more'></a></span><br />
<br />
Next year she goes to middle school, which I remember vividly as being perhaps the third deepest pit in hell. I've tried not to let my worry about the next couple of years hit her radar too much. Is she ready for it? I honestly don't know. Her experience, like the rest of her childhood, will be very different than mine. By the time I was in sixth grade, I was a cynical little shit who read bad romance novels and rolled her eyes at the world.<br />
<br />
But that's next year, and her note is about precisely <i>right now</i>. I want to appreciate right now, hold it gently in my hands and savor it, until it flutters away towards the future, all on it's own.<br />
<br />
As I read her note to the Tooth Fairy last night, I felt feverish and lightheaded. It was because of all the love. It was like that moment in the hospital the day she was born. My love for her hit me like a brick in the face. I slowly walked out of her bedroom, my hands shaking, my eyes stinging. Her dad was away on a business trip, which was extremely inconvenient because I needed him at that moment. He is the only other person in the world who gets it. Who sees her <i>and gets it.</i> And I knew that he would read the note and we would look at each other and know.<br />
<br />
Because one tiny page of lavender paper had almost magically captured who our daughter is at this moment in her life. She is smart, kind, appreciative, and respectful. She always wants to do what is right. Not all the time, but enough that it makes it hard not to shower with her everything she wants and needs. Because she is so grateful for it all and gives us so much back. She's imperfect and those imperfections make us love her harder. She's a little awkward sometimes, finding herself floating between who she is in her head and who she is in the world. She is mature and responsible, yet remarkably, almost obliviously innocent. She's tough and she will fight you but dear lord, she's so sweet and vulnerable. She is so fiercely loved by all of us.<br />
<br />
The Tooth Fairy responded to her note. It was loving but brief, as there was very little room left on that small, lavender page. I'm not sure the Tooth Fairy really knew how to respond. Maybe the Tooth Fairy wishes she'd had a little more time to prepare. How do you say goodbye to such a sweet, silly, precious girl? To this part of her childhood, knowing that once it's over there is no going back? Maybe if the Tooth Fairy thought about it all too much, she would get really emotional and need to sit down.<br />
<br />
But after a few minutes, I think the Tooth Fairy would calm herself down and stop crying. I think she'd sigh and do those quick exhales and hand flaps that signal she's getting it together. She'd realize that what she wrote back to the girl is not really that important. It was the girl, who all on her own, wrote a note of thanks - a eulogy of sorts for the Tooth Fairy - or at least a goodbye to the time where she was needed. The girl seems ready to move forward. The Tooth Fairy, however, maybe needs some more time before she's ready to flutter unsteadily towards the future.<br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2020</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check me out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that my own updates don't even show up in my feed anymore.</i></b></div></div>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-72566728731528399102020-10-09T16:58:00.001-04:002020-10-15T17:15:01.965-04:00Just a reminder about aggressively happy fall fun...<div><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Byec-Qf9eYQ/X4i4bYHlTHI/AAAAAAAAN34/I9KDth5a_z0G7bi_faUtc5okeMvBEA9JACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/pumpkin%2Bpatch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Byec-Qf9eYQ/X4i4bYHlTHI/AAAAAAAAN34/I9KDth5a_z0G7bi_faUtc5okeMvBEA9JACLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h426/pumpkin%2Bpatch.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>This is some bullshit right here, you should know that now. The little boy is about to drop that heavy ass pumpkin on his dad's foot, who will scream the f-word in front of a bunch of other's people's kids, and they will all glare at him like he's a monster. The boy will cry for at least 20 minutes because the pumpkin broke and the dad will be furious because his foot is throbbing and the broken pumpkin costs $23. Meanwhile, the sister will whine that her brother "ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING" and their mom will hang her head because she just wanted one freaking good photo to post on freaking Facebook. Many hours later, she will sit down with a glass of wine and review the photos she took at the pumpkin patch. She will be in exactly two of them and her eyes will be closed in both. The end.</b></span></i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Friends,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It is October. It is the time of cable-knit sweaters and puffy vests (that let's be honest are always too hot unless you have a fairly serious circulation problem or live in Maine). It is also the time of aggressively happy and attractive outdoor family photos. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When you see all the social media posts this weekend showing beautiful families apple picking and pumpkin patching, just remember what the photos don't show. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">One kid calling his brother a butthole, the other kid crying and refusing to walk up the hill, the sullen teenager staring at their phone the whole time, the dad being like "Wait, these apples cost HOW MUCH?" and the increasingly frustrated mom whisper-hissing "Smile or no one is getting donuts."</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">It's fine, you're fine, they're fine. </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Remember, it's a highlight reel, not real life. It's capturing precious f&*king family memories for posterity and that's awesome. And your family is awesome, too.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Love, Julie</div></div></div>
<b><i><div><br /></div>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2020</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-20948747238773606682020-10-06T17:18:00.002-04:002020-10-15T17:32:15.870-04:00Raise your hand if you're a life-ruining monster<div><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; margin: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: 15px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tU56feCwYPo/X4i-rTEY7LI/AAAAAAAAN4Q/bD6OWKwjGNUSZyppxAZwOMLMXW9VxmNbwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/raise%2Bhand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1363" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tU56feCwYPo/X4i-rTEY7LI/AAAAAAAAN4Q/bD6OWKwjGNUSZyppxAZwOMLMXW9VxmNbwCLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h426/raise%2Bhand.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b>This beautiful lady is raising both hands, with a terrific smile, because she's ruined TWO KIDS' lives by making them do homework and keeping them safe, healthy and fed - all while working her ass off and homeschooling them, trapped in the house for months on end during a divisive and terrifying election season and a global pandemic. What an asshole!<br /></b></i></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-size: 15px;">Hello friends. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px;">Raise your hand if you personally have ruined your child's life by making them (choose all that apply):</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Attend in-person school</span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Attend school via distance learning</span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Cruelly make them social distance/stay home of because of a deadly global pandemic</span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Force them to leave the house/deal with other people because your area is out of code red or whatever</span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Try to manage whatever this shitshow of a year has thrown at your family</span></li></ul></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">No. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Wait. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Stop. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Go ahead and put that hand down. </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I've recently been informed that it's all my fault and all my doing, so you guys can rest easy. I'm the asshole here. </div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Kind of exciting to find out that I'm some sort of all-powerful omniscient deity that can like - cause global pandemics and million-acre wildfires and stuff. Good to know. And here I was feeling bad about myself because I can't get the laundry done. HA HA HA PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS BUSY RUINING EVERYONE'S LIFE BY MAKING THEM EAT VEGETABLES AND GO TO BED ON TIME.</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>(wipes tear)</i></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Kids are fun.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Love, Julie</div></div></div>
<b><i><div><br /></div>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2020</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-6196475554645385152020-01-02T17:31:00.000-05:002020-01-02T17:58:14.108-05:00The Ten Year Challenge <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0NfWv1WuFRv3uRrfmJM9fpOboMzyFFsm5SRP74JaH4cte-SYRaXLafWeSzB1IyCMm8bU-twT5_HjbAjeYC1SlCrtk51Vu5cozK4KrqDLBi9KmUy1huka7MHNKnhCA-rL-MqRpeNV9qP4/s1600/10+year+challenge.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0NfWv1WuFRv3uRrfmJM9fpOboMzyFFsm5SRP74JaH4cte-SYRaXLafWeSzB1IyCMm8bU-twT5_HjbAjeYC1SlCrtk51Vu5cozK4KrqDLBi9KmUy1huka7MHNKnhCA-rL-MqRpeNV9qP4/s320/10+year+challenge.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The most recent social media trend appears to be reflecting deeply on the past decade and speculating on the personal growth that will occur during the next. This started last month with something called the "Ten Year Challenge.” Here's how that one worked: you find a photo of yourself from 2009 and compare it to a photo from 2019. This was supposed to demonstrate to the world your weight loss, or your progressive journey to total enlightenment, or possibly to provide our big data overlords with opportunities for their nefarious facial recognition efforts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I'm ashamed to say I succumbed to online pressure and began looking through pictures from 2009. A search of our photo library for that year shows approximately 4,326 photos of my children, 398 of my pets, 47 of my husband (usually with our kids piled on him), and maybe 4 of me. I'd just given birth to my third baby in five years and I was exhausted and deep in <a href="http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2009/11/how-did-i-get-here.html">The Blur</a>. In most pictures, I'm either hiding from the camera or looking really confused about what the hell was going on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">At that time, I hated having my picture taken because I wasn't as pretty or skinny as I'd been when I was young. I lived comfortably for many years in a sweet spot on the spectrum of female attractiveness. I was pretty enough to be reliably appealing, but not so outstanding as to incite the envy or resentment of others. I could make myself appear more or less attractive as the situation called for. I worked hard to look good, <i>to seem good</i>. This has always been expected of women, just ask Ceasar's wife.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ten years have made things both better and worse. My daughters are at the forefront of a generation for whom technology has made both appearances and your actual appearance an easily quantifiable competition. I don't think they understand how truly messed up that is, or how potentially damaging. They know no different world. This did not really exist ten years ago.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Like many teenagers who came before them, they’ll look in the mirror at their objectively gorgeous reflections and see only the faults. It's a design flaw in humans that we're at our most beautiful when we're also so easily influenced by the validation of others, self-focused rather than self-aware. Technology doesn't help these tendencies, it amplifies them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">They’ll see photos of themselves and edit them, filter them, removing the perceived imperfections that make them human. Then they present themselves in a careful collage of images where it’s more important to seem than to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I get it. It’s a function of being young. I grew up feeling my value linked in small and subtle ways to how I looked. My basic attractiveness enhanced every accomplishment, making me seem more worthy of praise, of being shown off, of making people proud. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ten years ago, I was a sleep-deprived, overweight mother of three kids age five and under. I knew I would never again be a woman whose looks added a glossy shine to who she really was, reflecting light back on those around her. But there wasn't time to think about what it meant, there were only brief pauses in the perpetual motion machine of our family's life to feel weird about it. To avoid the camera and the evidence of how much I’d changed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I'm not sure when it happened over the last decade, but acceptance of this evolved into something else. Something that felt like relief, or possibly release. Release from the prison of impossible expectations. Freedom to focus on things that matter more and last longer. A lot has been written about how many women feel increasingly invisible as they age, but the opposite has been true for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So many of the positive changes in my life have come as a result of social media and the internet, where we're rewarded for having lives that are performative. I started a blog in 2009, and ten years later I’m a published author. Blogging taught me that to be seen, I had to make myself known. It’s scary to share parts of yourself, to risk rejection and censure. It’s probably not a coincidence that I only started to write, to take real risks, when I could no longer hide behind the glossy, suffocating mask of youth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The Ten Year Challenge spurred me to look for pictures of myself from 2019. Again, I found thousands of pictures of my kids, hundreds of my dogs, lots of my handsome husband, and to my surprise - quite a few of myself. I still don't love how I look in photos, but I'm there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">For better or worse, you can see me now. </span></div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
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Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-22853532648012168482019-11-11T18:40:00.001-05:002019-11-11T18:40:47.306-05:00Raising a Screen Smart Kid on NPR<b><i><br /></i></b>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B-u112gIl60/XcnxVLyqmeI/AAAAAAAANfo/E3RQlkNeC_M0rcWPMTzGi36LF0LRnYuxgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/KPR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="978" data-original-width="1600" height="390" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B-u112gIl60/XcnxVLyqmeI/AAAAAAAANfo/E3RQlkNeC_M0rcWPMTzGi36LF0LRnYuxgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/KPR.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
I loved doing this interview with Dan Skinner of Kansas Public Radio!<br />
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<a href="http://kansaspublicradio.org/blog/dan-skinner/conversations-julianna-miner-raising-screen-smart-kid">http://kansaspublicradio.org/blog/dan-skinner/conversations-julianna-miner-raising-screen-smart-kid</a><br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2014</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-49526425538881389072019-09-10T14:35:00.001-04:002019-09-10T14:35:48.791-04:00Raising A Screen Smart Kid in The New York Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QQHbhPoho8s/XXfrh_ySRfI/AAAAAAAANaU/kvH790Ahu90jq220a_SJWofDVHUwtJkJgCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-09-10%2Bat%2B2.24.23%2BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="958" data-original-width="1600" height="380" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QQHbhPoho8s/XXfrh_ySRfI/AAAAAAAANaU/kvH790Ahu90jq220a_SJWofDVHUwtJkJgCLcBGAs/s640/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-09-10%2Bat%2B2.24.23%2BPM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Very excited to share that<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Screen-Smart-Kid-Embrace-Digital/dp/0143132075/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=julianna+miner&qid=1557166131&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull"> "Raising a Screen Smart Kid"</a> was mentioned in The New York Times for the second time this year! This article by the incredible Jessica Lahey (author of The Gift of Failure) is outstanding and refers readers to my ideas on cell phone contracts.<br />
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<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/guides/smarterliving/help-your-child-succeed-at-school?smid=fb-share&fbclid=IwAR0svyr3FTVs_RXhVVk_W2JfjvdWHxitCa1ZxMpbkNgn86d9zHowfpGpbiY">Find the article here!</a> </div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-19538217037755459182019-08-26T13:38:00.000-04:002019-09-10T13:38:56.980-04:00Good Day DC InterviewOther than the fact that my hair is super weird, this is a great interview with the folks at Good Day DC (Fox 5 DC). Check it out!<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" nbsp="" scrolling="no" src="https://w3.cdn.anvato.net/player/prod/v3/anvload.html?key=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%3D%3D" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-72580248634987398662019-07-18T13:48:00.001-04:002019-07-18T13:48:25.612-04:00Good Kids and Dumb Choices - It's normal<div style="caret-color: rgb(28, 30, 33); color: #1c1e21; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Zz2L9OKWHdo/XTCvOuAL26I/AAAAAAAANF0/JyF224QD5ukV8M11jAsH_Jy7ymzuuGMXACLcBGAs/s1600/dumb%2Bchoices.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Zz2L9OKWHdo/XTCvOuAL26I/AAAAAAAANF0/JyF224QD5ukV8M11jAsH_Jy7ymzuuGMXACLcBGAs/s320/dumb%2Bchoices.png" width="320" /></a>"It's critical to remember that every child, no matter how smart and responsible, will make mistakes... Making mistakes and learning how to deal with the consequences of our choices are key developmental lessons all kids need to learn."</div>
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-Chapter 1, Raising a Screen Smart Kid</div>
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This post is just a quick reminder that even the best kids are going to do some really dumb stuff sometimes - it's called "growing up." It doesn't make them bad people and doesn't make you a bad parent. </div>
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Make a mistake? Take responsibility, learn from it, move forward. Online and in-person - same rules apply. </div>
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And for the record, we all did a ton of dumb stuff when we were kids, too. Only we weren't doing it when literally everyone around us could record and document all of our adolescent stupidi<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">ty for posterity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">((Quickly crosses self and </span>thanks<span style="font-family: inherit;"> baby Jesus for this, as was an enormous idiot as a teenager))</span></div>
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Love, Julie</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-73377316626732715952019-07-16T15:42:00.000-04:002019-07-18T15:42:57.803-04:00Quick Q & A: Should I let my kid start posting on Youtube? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g9tz4v5OGG4/XTDLiTFoWrI/AAAAAAAANGA/MS_aWIOveNkZvxBiSSnuvHtYqQsJVrOFgCLcBGAs/s1600/67352099_10157510295364248_5464417106072174592_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g9tz4v5OGG4/XTDLiTFoWrI/AAAAAAAANGA/MS_aWIOveNkZvxBiSSnuvHtYqQsJVrOFgCLcBGAs/s320/67352099_10157510295364248_5464417106072174592_n.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Q: My daughter (age 9) wants to post a video of her teaching someone how to paint a picture of a chicken. It's super cute and totally appropriate, but I'm afraid of comments from trolls and wondering if she is too young to post. What do you think?</b></span></div>
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<b>A: </b>In all likelihood, the people who are going to be watching and sharing your 9 year old's video are going to be your friends and family. Could it go viral and <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">garner a lot of attention? Sure! Anything is possible, but it's unlikely.</span></div>
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That being said, I also get why you're concerned. Youtube comments can go from totally friendly to really nasty in the blink of an eye. If it's just comments you're worried about, you can always disable them. Also, If the feedback starts to get weird and trollish, you can delete the video or make it private. I would also take a look at other videos that are similar to the one she's going to share, read the feedback they've gotten, and see how you both feel about it.</div>
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It could be a really fun experience for your kid (and you) to make a video and share it. I think it's awesome when kids use screen time to create content rather than just consume it. That doesn't mean everyone is going to love it and that's ok. </div>
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I once gave one of my own kids the business because they (and their friend) got a little snotty about a classmates' Youtube channel. While I understood zero of what was being discussed in the video I watched and am therefore totally unqualified to say if it was any good, that wasn't even relevant to me. I got extraordinarily huffy, and then all caps told them: "DON'T YOU EVEN SAY POOPY WORDS ABOUT THAT VIDEO BECAUSE THAT KID IS AT LEAST CREATING SOMETHING AND IS BRAVE ENOUGH TO PUT IT OUT THERE AND YOU ARE JUST SITTING AROUND NOT CREATING AND POOPING ON OTHER'S PEOPLE BRAVE CREATIONS WHICH IS NOT COOL."</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">My child was delighted with my outburst, as I'm sure you can imagine.</span></div>
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I think it's super cool that your daughter wants to make something and share it. Putting yourself out there is always a little risky, but it's also a really great chance to learn about yourself and get better at something. She may also connect with other kids who love painting pictures of chickens, and that would also be really cool, as I imagine those kids are pretty great. </div>
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If she decides to post it, prepare her for some blowback even though it may never come. Maybe all the feedback will be super positive. And you know what? If it is, then talk about not getting caught up in a feedback cycle where that affirmation means more than the act of making something you're proud of and sharing it with others.</div>
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Good luck and I am off to google how to paint chickens!</div>
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Oh hey! Here's a link to pre-order <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"type":104,"tn":"*N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/raisingascreensmartkid?source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARBQL_f0IvWi8ca89qvJQQIbG6Lg3XQGT33QCuO89rbDFfSCEzd4hWsWieXRrvwNW0twDjQBJH45XRvt7xmXOZMc-6PjSZ5YPcXn-HvOgIVEC10fFYI3abqimo0iun-eirFSVfQ4cbkq45T0OJEcQ-aQDtPUdJJ-BOSiPnT4l7e6Dwtz6N8eKuDqVvS05xYeOuD3iFx-og4QHs2O_kr5Z-xxOlLrObtUHNGiwNUxlwKM7eopPzLuNIPYwKLGgMoQUKC2mvDwua2hdx2DVqL664cvx8wVuLZ6ayA_FwY4ExtJoVfVgd_-SgIoD1rdfF9d8d50TC3nqN-Fdge469WL&__tn__=%2ANK-R" style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #365899; font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">RaisingAScreenSmartKid</span></span></a>, out 7/23: <a data-ft="{"tn":"-U"}" data-lynx-mode="origin" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftinyurl.com%2Fy4ajtzfq%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1TPys2z8Vl3AU9MVpFhRcTPYDNuoCU3DStyPV0QFKoZbF90v77J8yZ-U4&h=AT0Eux0G6prW7KqJkUX0uTJNs976XHUzBkh4KK42N1fmrdtLZ3noMmLLQ9Q6481z6nqUBFkJcDLMZqN1N2IW1tGPKUS8eoR2QbM7YNGUXuD7iUnJy3LxmbfDSo-dYNGggjVx3ScZAf0OwaPQOvVpx032h5bN-Hx7LxjUpXQnkFLAQOrtuWhTpjGUTfpPbSkcExu0OZbfNAvey1TG7v1iYyudEIOrX3e9y-SEHOFQpTMZzt1kp-wSkEoUWK_qil99pQkX0r9lD3lWHLEsAy_Qb4__ltU-t22maxWZvHeluZA45hqUlH0zuwQbyTSPo8lMYejYB3fO-PmzfNXMzVq0FsYC9r_vBfS9Jj8hwtqX3Mcug7i4KUVfPFalGwrpt4vJp78WmQEBPpr70gHUwkU7YnGkAr1u90Nc3NzgLWFkBWDJHDuXJdM6s8FcGyeHlWJbEoZiNj7FO9F2_hnKhvhx9jOlxsuB1-HIHTuwIj5r1fCKdTp6vSGC5bQ9vxrPC1JmlPWEwrCXDAGFO8dOovB1nOQjUGe-9RI5m3nOw6uvx8GEpSe_kMY8F-jXBlqRp3JYGwzmHKegt_nZKYFUSPyKlnFWdHp2A-v6GAvPqA5Mei1mul8Rgx9szkQfxcqgVw" rel="noopener nofollow" style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://tinyurl.com/y4ajtzfq</a></div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-76744200751228891232019-06-18T16:38:00.000-04:002019-07-18T16:46:42.152-04:00This is the year of me doing things. <div style="caret-color: rgb(28, 30, 33); color: #1c1e21; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
You know how I said this was the year of me doing stuff? So far I have:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>His scruff touched my face. Also, he's really nice<br />and very tall and his wife is beautiful.</i></td></tr>
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<li>Taken ninja lessons with 5 of my friends and earned my white belt, </li>
<li>Did an ice luge shot and then rode a mechanical bull, </li>
<li>Embraced my love of inappropriate lady novels (<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2019/06/you-need-some-hot-summer-reading-we-got.html">THE LIST IS HERE AND IT'S GOT EVERYTHING</a>)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Went to Texas by myself to a conference and came home with several really good new friends and having briefly snuggled Jared Padelecki, </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Wrote a second book that is wildly personal, </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Got invited to work out w a former UFC fighter at his gym (we met at the Verizon store and we talked about his sweet fiancee and their house hunt and more on this later), </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Mercilessly pranked my </span>neighbors<span style="font-family: inherit;"> in an ongoing squirmish, and </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm going to see Air Supply on Friday probably dressed in full 80's gear. </span></li>
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But... there's more and I'm legit losing the very last of my shit right now. I'm supposed to be in a "Mom Squad" number at my daughter's dance recital this weekend. This dance studio is filled with literally the nicest people in the world and we've been rehearsing for a month but last week I forgot everything and now it's like I'm broken and I. Can. Not. Dance. At. All. </div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Because dancing is hard and choreography is hard and coordination is hard and remembering what to do with your arms is hard and I want to quit but I can't because I am the dumbass who talked everyone into it ("This is the year we do stuff, guys!!") and now it's could be just very unfortunate for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So I guess what I'm saying is that it's fun to do new things but also terrifying and being brave also means feeling totally ridiculous. </span></div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-45980962970877782142019-06-13T16:52:00.000-04:002019-07-18T16:53:59.654-04:00Welcome to summer. It's feral here. And there's a squid.<div style="caret-color: rgb(28, 30, 33); color: #1c1e21; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
The school year is over. The transition to summer has begun. For the first time in 11 years, we're not doing summer swim. This means that instead of becoming feral, schedule-less garanimals in late July - that happens now. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9QbeEgvZ8VA/XTDb13JnOfI/AAAAAAAANHU/XcaOtah3m34RugcSLfT0gtYGpZjVUNdAwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0265.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1072" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9QbeEgvZ8VA/XTDb13JnOfI/AAAAAAAANHU/XcaOtah3m34RugcSLfT0gtYGpZjVUNdAwCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0265.JPG" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>One of the Rants Fam from FB drew this<br />and it is the most beautiful thing in the<br />whole entire fucking world. </i></td></tr>
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This is occurring in combination with the inexplicable mood swings, tears, and crankypants that accompany any major transition in my house. The only thing that seems to help with this is my children and their friends eating $459 worth of groceries every 3 days. </div>
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Meanwhile, <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">I'm trying to figure out how to work from home full time while having no discipline and a procrastination problem that if anthropomorphized would be a drunken, angry squid who likes to slap me with his slappy tentacles while also screeching Duran Duran songs off-key in my left ear. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh and I have a book coming out in about a month so nothing to stress about there except being a total public failure in front of God, the internet, and everyone I know. Especially considering it's a book about kids and tech and being "screen smart" and my response to this situation is that every child in my house (currently 5) are staring at some sort of screen so I can load the dishwasher and type this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Just thought I'd share some realness with you in case you were feeling like you needed to compare </span>favorably<span style="font-family: inherit;"> with someone who definitely does not have their shit together. You're doing better than you think and way better than me. Happy summer and I love your face today - you look </span>well-rested<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and attractive.</span></div>
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xo, Julie</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-13373717106728268122019-05-21T16:57:00.000-04:002019-07-18T16:58:05.137-04:00Second Deathaversary<div style="caret-color: rgb(28, 30, 33); color: #1c1e21; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Today is the second deathiversary of my little brother's passing and I'm still feeling messy and ugly about it. I've decided to focus on a few things that losing him taught me.</div>
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*Grief is built to last and it shows up in really weird ways when you really don't expect it. Like a punch right in the damn face when you're at a stoplight and the wrong song comes on. It sucks but there it is.</div>
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*I will remember the best of him because he would've done that for me. </div>
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*My sister and I will likely spend too much time for the rest of our lives wondering if something could have changed this outcome. If we had a time machine, what is the exact moment that we could go back to, make a change and create an alternate timeline where he would still be here and be ok? We know this isn't useful. We will do it anyway.</div>
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*Mental illness is made about a million times worse by self-medicating. When life is genuinely shitty, that's when you should be NOT be drinking. </div>
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*I will love certain people harder and I will let certain people go. </div>
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Here's a bird finger to death for taking him at 30 and to addiction and mental illness and the breast cancer that took his mom when he was too young to handle it. </div>
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Here's an awkwardly long hug for anyone else dealing with ugly, messy, dirty grief.</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-16786624593819454692019-04-13T16:01:00.002-04:002019-04-13T16:01:28.991-04:00DAY 3 HOME ALONE STATUS UPDATE<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I chose this photo because 90% of what I now consume now<br />are Annie's frozen organic burritos and microwaved coffee.</i></td></tr>
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<b>DAY THREE OF BEING HOME ALONE </b></div>
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(meaning yesterday, but posting late as have lost all sense of time):</div>
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Well, it happened on day 3. I started to miss them and found myself checking the locations of their iphones. They were taking a college tour at Baylor (teenage daughter loved it) and I was getting v. emotional about all of it. Was reaching for kleenex when I received 16 texts in a row from Mini telling me that her brother had LITERALLY SPRAYED HER WITH A HOSE and WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">DO ABOUT IT, MOMMY?</span></div>
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Nothing, sweet girl. Nothing at all. </div>
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I'm in Virginia and you're in Texas and your dad is *right there* and I'm 1,100 miles away drinking iced coffee, eating a frozen burrito in my stretchy pants at 2pm, suddenly feeling really good about my alone time again. Thank you for that refreshing dose of perspective, my angel.</div>
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I also had breakfast with my friend and we talked about each other's books that we're working on and it was so helpful and encouraging and it makes me want to tell all of you TO GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE THIS YEAR LIKE WRITE A SHITTY BOOK OR GET A GREEN BELT IN KARATE OR LEARN GERMAN OR TAKE AN EMT CLASS. </div>
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Then after I all got all excited and motivated, I fell asleep on the couch. </div>
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When I woke up, I tried to write some serious and important work that I have procrastinated for weeks but I couldn't because my ADHD brain was like: "You should have more iced coffee and read about the different neuro-biological processes driving attachment and attraction in mammals. That is a good idea. Do that." </div>
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Then I had surf and turf for dinner with my friend Kimberley, dressed in a ridiculous outfit while totally unshowered and gross, but whatever - we had a great time and my steak was DELICIOUS.</div>
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Then I evaluated 50 scholarship essays and watched season 2 of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina because my sister told me to.</div>
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Overall, being left behind my family is still outstanding. Still would recommend for all peoples. Still 14/10.</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-85548911183284218752019-04-12T13:59:00.000-04:002019-04-12T13:59:50.751-04:00Quoted in the Sunday NYT<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tf_8fQKAzoo/XLDQTByP3kI/AAAAAAAAMcY/FnLZAtuuw28Ei-NnTd2mUQBG58iuAEcBQCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-04-12%2Bat%2B1.49.36%2BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="1600" height="491" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tf_8fQKAzoo/XLDQTByP3kI/AAAAAAAAMcY/FnLZAtuuw28Ei-NnTd2mUQBG58iuAEcBQCLcBGAs/s640/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-04-12%2Bat%2B1.49.36%2BPM.png" width="640" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">I'm really, really excited about being quoted twice in an article about sharing things on Facebook that will be in this Sunday's print edition of The New York Times. The piece was written by <a href="https://kjdellantonia.com/">KJ Dell'Antonia</a> whose <a href="http://amwritingpodcast.com/">podcast #AmWriting</a> I am a huge fan of. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">“I have definitely seen an evolution toward sharing less,” said Julianna Miner, an adjunct professor of global and community health at George Mason University and the author of the forthcoming “</span><a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/558408/raising-a-screen-smart-kid-by-julianna-miner/9780143132073" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border: 0px; color: #326891; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="">Raising a Screen-Smart Kid: Embrace the Good and Avoid the Bad in the Digital Age</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">.” She added, “It’s hard to tell if the changes are a response to the security breaches, or a result of people just getting tired of it.”</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">and </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">“There’s plenty of evidence that interpersonal, face-to-face interactions yield a stronger neural response than anything you can do online,” said Ms. Miner. “Online empathy is worth something to us, but not as much. It takes something like </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">six virtual hugs</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> to equal </span><a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://www5.csudh.edu/psych/Virtual_empathy_-_Positive_and_negative_impacts_of_going_online_upon_empathy_in_young_adults.pdf" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="border: 0px; color: #326891; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="">one real hug</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">.”</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/12/opinion/sunday/facebook-privacy-parenting.html?fbclid=IwAR14s-O4YZwM6sCuHCIsS8TgbuEmwunw3FqTFBTiortClecN0loX6yFeHCs">The article is here</a>!</span></span><br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-82845148484486900162019-04-11T23:45:00.001-04:002019-07-18T17:03:42.171-04:00Review of the After Movie - Which everyone should go see right now. Thank you.<div class="_5pbx userContent _3576" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="js_5" style="caret-color: rgb(29, 33, 41); color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 6px;">
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<b>REVIEW OF THE AFTER MOVIE BY SOMEONE WHO IS TOO TIRED TO PROOFREAD HER OWN SHIT:</b></div>
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I just saw the <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"type":104,"tn":"*N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/aftermovie?source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARCdE7UDMHsKspiTFaUHDK3W8tjlfvfaho3NGEBWfa1HodvGIFgDQwy_syuhoVKNXvzh0-kVjny_Jfze813jhvKSTWQTRogX6_mzkooGeuYw75P0NxaJR17jBg4HEj1CwNYLaYVbKJLQ-CbXQCTz-P3wjhWsO2lUPxFRiFMsd4_yKO9rcB0d_6o2VRStBHWW_2I_wtHikcRLGFR3nc_uUAFSs1EHXoMcMUQKku8abugUqVMY6T5W6LGmhyS0zzpLF6tbpDOUMbB4erDKUN8yfGrw8H-g6DgXZizYyFuG79VuRWSY2qyhrDTpBtG64YryEQM9A3sVq0Dzrdt9SkUi&__tn__=%2ANK-R" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">Aftermovie</span></span></a> and I have a lot of feelings and emotions right now. They are very real and you need to respect them even though I am an adult woman and perhaps this is not the best use of my time. </div>
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For those of you who don't know, this movie is based on a series of YA books by Anna Todd that were originally on a story-sharing app called Watpad, where they got over a BILLION reads and were eventually snatched up by Simon & Schuster and published to enormous sales over the past five years.</div>
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Let's start with the positives: There's great casting! And gender-swapping of characters! There's more diversity! Landon, for example, is now black and is a precious, handsome, nerdy angel and Tristan is a v. hot gay girl. All good things.</div>
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Hardin and Tessa are great - thank you, baby lemur, because that could have gone either way. Tessa is exactly as I imagined her, down to the JC Penney wardrobe and pouty lips. Hardin* is perfect but for the lack of correct tattoos and piercings, which did not bother me but was EXTREMELY UPSETTING to the young super fans who were debriefing after the movie with me. </div>
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He is also far too nice, which was very disappointing. He is supposed to be a cruel and heartless dickhead and instead, he's like a young, black t-shirt wearing Mr. Darcy, unpleasant and rude, but too hot for those things to matter very much.</div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"type":104,"tn":"*N"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/hessa?source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARCdE7UDMHsKspiTFaUHDK3W8tjlfvfaho3NGEBWfa1HodvGIFgDQwy_syuhoVKNXvzh0-kVjny_Jfze813jhvKSTWQTRogX6_mzkooGeuYw75P0NxaJR17jBg4HEj1CwNYLaYVbKJLQ-CbXQCTz-P3wjhWsO2lUPxFRiFMsd4_yKO9rcB0d_6o2VRStBHWW_2I_wtHikcRLGFR3nc_uUAFSs1EHXoMcMUQKku8abugUqVMY6T5W6LGmhyS0zzpLF6tbpDOUMbB4erDKUN8yfGrw8H-g6DgXZizYyFuG79VuRWSY2qyhrDTpBtG64YryEQM9A3sVq0Dzrdt9SkUi&__tn__=%2ANK-R" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="font-family: inherit; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="font-family: inherit;">Hessa</span></span></a> has excellent chemistry which is the only reason the movie works, and you will know this because almost the entire film is comprised of slow-motion shots of them open mouth kissing to emotional lady rock. This leaves very little time for things like plot and character development and pacing.</div>
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BUT JULIE, WHY ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT LITERARY DEVICES IN A MOVIE THAT IS BASED ON TWILIGHT/50 SHADES/ONE DIRECTION FAN FICTION? First of all, I don't appreciate your tone. I love this shit. Second of all, those books are all about pacing - dropping random WTF moments, infuriating plot turns, and a frankly excessive amount of female orgasms. Sadly, none of those things are in the movie but it is PG-13, so I get it. </div>
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BUT IS THE MOVIE GOOD? I mean, kind of. I will probably have to watch it like three more times before I can decide for sure. If you've read the books, it doesn't matter what I think. You have to see the movie. You also have to like it or you're expelled from the fandom. It's legally required and you don't want to break the law, do you? </div>
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If you haven't read the books and you go to the movies to support your weird friend (like Tracy and Angela did for me tonight), then you will likely walk out of the theatre somewhere between "That had potential, sweetie, but there was a lot I didn't understand" and "What the hell was that? No for real, what did I just see?"</div>
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That last one was Tracy and while I'm grateful for her loyalty and friendship tonight, her attitude is unappreciated. That group of teenage superfans I mentioned earlier? They had a Tracy, too and she was not impressed and was also a little unkind and judgemental about how upset the rest of us were. So don't be a Tracy, is basically what I'm saying. </div>
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So should you see this movie? YES. Because it needs to make enough money that they will make a second movie, and so on. Did we really need four Twilight movies?* DID WE? Yes, of course we did. Don't be stupid. So go see this movie immediately. Thank you.</div>
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Your friend,<br />
Julie</div>
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*You may recognize this young man as Tom Riddle from the orphanage in the HP movies and is also the real-life nephew of the actor who plays Voldemort. ANY CONNECTION TO HP IS AMAZING AND YOU KNOW THAT SO JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT.<br />
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*My friend Harlow just informed there were FIVE Twilight movies. Pretty sure I knew that. Breaking Dawn was the size of the NY/NJ yellow pages we used to get every year when I was a child (so it was made into two movies and there was some weird CGI stuff, as I remember). But also to be clear, I also loved that shit. Twilight, not the yellow pages.</div>
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<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-14784972995198911102019-04-11T13:24:00.001-04:002019-04-11T13:24:13.058-04:00Home Alone Status Update Day 2<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dexO3RW6Rac/XK94CNEhiKI/AAAAAAAAMcA/1BovvBODhbg3B85iLL6CjUNiJl2lQwyjACLcBGAs/s1600/1fed65f35a18e6c76473a96a80d460c2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="544" data-original-width="816" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dexO3RW6Rac/XK94CNEhiKI/AAAAAAAAMcA/1BovvBODhbg3B85iLL6CjUNiJl2lQwyjACLcBGAs/s320/1fed65f35a18e6c76473a96a80d460c2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>Me today: hair jacked up, still in PJ's, no shower</b></i></td></tr>
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<b>Day 2 of being home alone status report: </b></div>
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Yesterday I ate sushi for dinner on my couch while re-watching season 3 of Game of Thrones in stretchy pants, ponytail & no bra, as I received this advice in the comments of my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand/posts/10157267385754248?__xts__[0]=68.ARCa3-vatwNY5q9KAN3Jp_jWi0MTrTGAEl6gbCbNLzKasUEgj-sDrXSzvyqgDwR0JtE5yoQKdPIhLc7MCcEERfwv4o4ElmAQroDcx1_LQMLh0FWBDuxB8qXOYufBiRvCWkGPRH1HMtEJEmWtz8OafX-3RcghlHhYfGBErNS3IUPodBzYVlSr1agYH-G-LJESKA0fQ3LkszuGPp87hClN1EcvWsO6afgJ4VRfo5d7pK2vMOoCFV634FJ7xWEy0RNcny5aSLjueJPyvJYFNFeiCJs-RccKWXY4FgSwzb3L3mU_5F-nHdPA-wkl_VX9HBjcMNsIU-XEWe8mswJl&__tn__=-R">FB status</a> ("If you're wearing a bra, you're doing it wrong." --> YOU ARE ALL VERY WISE AND HAVE SO MUCH TO TEACH ME, THIS WAS 100% RIGHT). </div>
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I also read two books by <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Harper-Kincaid/e/B00UB6QP3Y?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1555003244&sr=8-1">Harper Kincaid</a> (who I know in real life and is delightful and really knows how to take flattering selfies), made many to do lists, sent emails, did research, and drank electrolyte water - all on the couch while watching GoT. </div>
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Then I slept for 12 hours, only waking up because the dogs were like "WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS HAPPENING HOOMAN ARE YOU DEADS?"</div>
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So far today I've had 3 cups of hot coffee (hot!), eaten leftover California rolls, and one frozen Annie's quinoa burrito because I'm still in my PJ's and don't want to get dressed or leave my house. I also read an entire book about werewolves on Wattpad. </div>
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Tonight I am going to dinner and a movie with my lovely friend who does not judge me for needing to see After on opening night like a huge dork. Then I'm going to come home and grade essays. </div>
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I am living my best life. I've only had 3 very small panic attacks that my family has been injured/maimed because we're not together which honestly, is really good. Teenage daughter claimed she would miss me terribly but has not returned a single text.</div>
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This is working out really great so far, I strongly recommend for all peoples. 14/10</div>
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xoxo, Julie</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-23474241607892569912019-04-11T13:19:00.001-04:002019-07-18T17:12:18.314-04:00I am Kevin McAllister. Day One.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipwonZPRgPLHjZcxN18p2L1fUcLbiLkMuXc91K4cKKv41cd7RrZEBQUMSZ3e1_5EmRjhxxvC4EyfFvr13fjAQGhMRpWMnRbuO6FmxZV7X372y445Dx1_BeXyle3jZJZfAVYQdKhlMVn-E/s1600/rs_634x920-150825112125-634-mccauley-culkin-home-alone-2-08255.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="920" data-original-width="634" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipwonZPRgPLHjZcxN18p2L1fUcLbiLkMuXc91K4cKKv41cd7RrZEBQUMSZ3e1_5EmRjhxxvC4EyfFvr13fjAQGhMRpWMnRbuO6FmxZV7X372y445Dx1_BeXyle3jZJZfAVYQdKhlMVn-E/s200/rs_634x920-150825112125-634-mccauley-culkin-home-alone-2-08255.jpg" width="137" /></a></div>
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My husband took our children to the great state of Texas for five days for Spring Break. I must stay here, at home, because I have to teach and work. This happens every year, the university where I teach usually has their spring break a month before my kids' rolls around. This means I'm not really able to travel and my kids sullenly accept that we are stuck at home for a week, slowly growing more and more irritated with each other because there is nothing to do. </div>
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But this year, I am at home alone in the manner of Kevin McAllister for almost five whole days. I have lots of deadlines and work to do BUT OMG THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.</div>
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I have a list of non-work related things I want to do:</div>
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*Read many, many trashy books and a couple of good ones<br />
*Not cook or clean any of the things<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br />*So many naps<br />*Go see the new <a href="https://twitter.com/aftermovie">After</a> movie if I can find any other adults who will go with me, even if they haven't read the books<br />*Go to yoga<br />*Order take-out, repeat daily<br />*Watch what I want on the big TV</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">(also what should I watch because I always end up watching the same shit again and again)</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">(update: Can't watch Netflix because Mini lost the remote for the big TV that allows it to toggle between cable and Netflix/Amazon Prime and now I am desolate.)</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">(update: Is fine because Game of Thrones premiere is this weekend so will just rewatch old seasons)</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">*Not have weird, periodic panic attacks about the safety of my family because they are away from me</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">(update have only had a couple)</span></div>
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What should I add to this list? Help! I need to make the most of this special, special time!</div>
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xoxo, Julie</div>
</div>
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-69333519822072586442019-03-14T18:20:00.000-04:002019-03-14T18:20:01.950-04:00Texting fun with Teenagers<div style="caret-color: rgb(29, 33, 41); color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
This morning in the group chat I have with my three kids:</div>
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Me: Kids, I'm in meetings all morning so unless its life or death, I can't respond to your texts. </div>
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Kid: Ok</div>
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Other kids: (since does not have to do with food, money or rides, ignores message)</div>
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Kid: (during meetings) Mom mom MOM MOM MOMMMMM MOM MOM.</div>
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Mom: (thinking surely I can ignore message, as said earlier would be in meetings)</div>
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Kid: MOOOMM mom mom MOM</div>
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Mom: (growing concern and unease) What?! In a meeting!</div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Kid: Oh right. Nevermind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This afternoon:</span></div>
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Kid: Pick me up by the smoothie place?</div>
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Mom: When?</div>
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Mom: (30 mins later) When?</div>
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Mom: (60 mins later) CHILD WHEN DO YOU NEED A RIDE?</div>
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Kid: (23 minutes later) Right now. </div>
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Kid: (3 seconds later) How much longer?</div>
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Kid: (4 seconds later) When are you coming?</div>
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THIS IS MY LIFE TEXTING MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH EASIER.</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-15631733785264184452019-01-18T12:20:00.002-05:002019-01-18T12:20:19.684-05:00Most recent article for Washington Post<b><i><br /></i></b>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tkEtU6faKqE/XEIIcZmkeHI/AAAAAAAAMPc/4KRbO_20G68NJDFc673B9aI6A1lZYxsFwCLcBGAs/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1421" data-original-width="1125" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tkEtU6faKqE/XEIIcZmkeHI/AAAAAAAAMPc/4KRbO_20G68NJDFc673B9aI6A1lZYxsFwCLcBGAs/s400/FullSizeRender.jpeg" width="316" /></a></div>
Every time I have a piece accepted by the Washington Post's OnParenting section, it's a thrill. I was especially happy about this one because I've spent the past two years researching the digital lives of our kids. This article gave me the opportunity to integrate that research with some important parenting conversations we should all be having with our tweens and teens.<br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
I also love this piece because it's a great peek into what my upcoming book is going to be like. Have I mentioned that book?<br />
<br />
It's called "Raising a Screen Smart Kid: Embrace the Good and Avoid the Bad in the Digital Age" and it will be published by Tarcher Perigee/Penguin Random House in late summer 2019.<br />
<br />
Here's a link to the article! <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/09/06/how-to-use-eighth-grade-to-jump-start-some-important-conversations-with-your-teen/?utm_term=.0720f3242ce0">https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/09/06/how-to-use-eighth-grade-to-jump-start-some-important-conversations-with-your-teen/?utm_term=.0720f3242ce0</a><br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2019</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15769694459218666561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-87191314635714234902018-03-15T08:50:00.000-04:002018-05-07T11:47:38.267-04:00Hush hush, Julie. Voices Carry.<div style="color: #1d2129; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was just in the grocery store, which has recently and inexplicably started playing killer 80's music every time I'm there. Not like Billy Ocean (though "Get Out of My Dreams and Into My Car" is pretty solid and also something my husband and I frequently say to each other). The grocery store is playing bands like The Psychedelic Furs and Tears for Fears. I mean, its great stuff. These are the songs of my people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I'm there this morning and again, the music is the great. Upon hearing the end of Til Tuesday's (still amazing) "Voices Carry," I felt a visceral urge to belt out <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To">"HE SAID SHUT UP, HE SAID SHUT UP, OH GOD CAN'T YOU KEEP IT DOWN?!"</a> right there among the salad greens and carrots. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But I realized that a 45-year woman suddenly scream-shouting these lyrics in the produce section, fueled by powerful emotion, might frighten the othe<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">r shoppers. So I sang nothing. I kept it down because voices carry and it was TERRIBLY SAD. As I looked up from the baby spinach, I saw another GenX mom standing by the organic berries and our eyes met.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We nodded at each other with mutual understanding and began bobbing our heads in time to the last few measures of the song, in the universal manner of those who are not cool and cannot dance. I may have also thrown in a shoulder shimmy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was a beautiful moment of weirdo solidarity and I will always treasure it.</span></div>
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<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/kristen-wiig-bridesmaids-melissa-mccarthey-Xu9KNYBorOg1y">via GIPHY</a></div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/tiltuesday?source=feed_text" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">TilTuesday</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/voicescarry?source=feed_text" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">VoicesCarry</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/inthegrocerystore?source=feed_text" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">Inthegrocerystore</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/trytoactnormal?source=feed_text" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">Trytoactnormal</span></span></a></div>
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<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2018</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia http://www.blogger.com/profile/01359308152002227423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-54214873039262279322018-01-20T09:22:00.000-05:002018-05-07T09:22:43.445-04:00If you don't like my notes then make your own sandwich.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLjt7TQ_UEHWuFfpGbvQ6ev8S21YWxgw1J5eap0-fd3bkWMIK6nxzT4mz3XCYl7rcYx7eFPmSEU6UahIpXm5_0zxuWD2B_cITVlGhOpBJ9R0DHtOFSkPJ5kFKlGZFy4mk08mDdkLgk5PQ/s1600/Luff+you.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1198" data-original-width="1202" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLjt7TQ_UEHWuFfpGbvQ6ev8S21YWxgw1J5eap0-fd3bkWMIK6nxzT4mz3XCYl7rcYx7eFPmSEU6UahIpXm5_0zxuWD2B_cITVlGhOpBJ9R0DHtOFSkPJ5kFKlGZFy4mk08mDdkLgk5PQ/s400/Luff+you.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When your kids ask you to make their lunches, write heartfelt and embarrassing love notes on their sandwiches. This one was a huge hit in the middle school cafeteria. I mean, if you don’t want everyone at your table to know that I love my precious schmoopy then I probably shouldn’t still be making your sandwiches. </span></span><br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2018</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia http://www.blogger.com/profile/01359308152002227423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-60730794995238908172018-01-10T09:30:00.000-05:002018-05-07T09:30:16.206-04:00I'm pretty cool but I cry a lot.<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I was at the craft store buying big yarn (because I'm obsessed with hand crocheting with big yarn) and I saw this and fell in love with it and showed my friends and I hollered “YOU GUYS ITS LIKE THIS WAS MADE FOR ME!” And they were like “Yes, but I also think it was made as decor for a baby’s room.”</span><br />
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2018</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia http://www.blogger.com/profile/01359308152002227423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-23856322021066755932017-11-22T09:51:00.000-05:002018-05-07T09:52:35.606-04:00Twas the Voicemail before Thanksgiving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY1Ks9qDN4maZVtAWcbWYO2hSGe8CpULgy3LWxRLa3D8Ap3trgiiUVzPvn6TgD02Ae8gtc0fKX8i9PdYAK9dR_QGi7E_FAHr_11wsjXhCrkQUugsmefV1uENp9KKyJ4xLiJ7hbHa80gzT0/s1600/voicemail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY1Ks9qDN4maZVtAWcbWYO2hSGe8CpULgy3LWxRLa3D8Ap3trgiiUVzPvn6TgD02Ae8gtc0fKX8i9PdYAK9dR_QGi7E_FAHr_11wsjXhCrkQUugsmefV1uENp9KKyJ4xLiJ7hbHa80gzT0/s400/voicemail.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OMG. So apparently, every time I leave my husband a voicemail at work, his office's phone system transcribes my message. And he just told me today that this so <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">called "system" actually makes me sound insane every single time. No one else. <i>Just me. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was like "What the hell are you talking about?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And he read me the transcription of the message I left this morning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just to put this all in context, that is not what I said. I called him as I was leaving Target, where I tried unsuccessfully to pick up some last minute items he'd told me that we needed. That makes me a nice person because it's the day before Thanksgiving and that place is a shit show.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's the transcript. The first sentence is pretty accurate but after that... It's like his voicemail is trying to make me sound borderline demented. And I mean - SCREW YOU, VOICEMAIL TRANSCRIPTION. I have three kids and it's the holidays. I can look crazy without your help. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"It's Julie, I'm I was not able to find all the stuff that you texted me this morning. So I'm just gonna do the best they can, Korea. I'm one of the things that I was going to do. It's me stock. It's for you to cook with because the stuff that I could be stopping you could drink, but I don't get a chicken salad mixed chocolate. So I was just gonna cut the crap out of it and the pressure cooker and make it really gets back and you can either drink that or you can use it for cooking. Hopefully it will make you feel better. I'm running. Please go to come in and I'm going to go anyway for an hour or so to volunteer to pot luck and then. We should be home about I don't know too. Okay. Let me back."</span></blockquote>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2018</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia http://www.blogger.com/profile/01359308152002227423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3744857965037745657.post-45784336177415987812017-11-17T09:55:00.000-05:002018-05-07T09:56:18.276-04:00What's it like to write a book, Julie? (part 1)<div class="_5pbx userContent _3576" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="js_1o9" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 6px;">
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WHAT’S IT LIKE TO WRITE A BOOK, JULIE?</div>
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It’s like this! First, you drink all the coffee in the whole house because of your deadline. Then you realize you’re out of coffee but you won’t go to the store because that’s time you won’t be writing and you magically find some hidden coffee, lurking among the tea, and brew a huge pot and drink it and then your teenage daughter says “OMG why is this coffee so gross? MOM IT EXPIRED IN JANUARY 2016 WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?” and you’re like “whatever, it’s fine” and keep typing out terrible words.</div>
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<b><i>(c) Mommyland Blogs 2013-2018</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Check us out on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RantsFromMommyLand">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mommylandrants">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://instagram.com/mommylandrants">Instagram</a> & <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mommylandrants/">Pinterest</a>. Better yet - <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=rantsfrommommyland/unbY&loc=en_US">subscribe</a>! Mostly because Facebook is now so dumb that our updates don't even show up in our own feed anymore.</i></b>Lydia http://www.blogger.com/profile/01359308152002227423noreply@blogger.com